He Sees You When You're Sleeping?
by That Buggy Girl
Summary: Sojiro and Kamatari and a few OCs explore the Western holiday of Christmas. Insanity, of course, will ensue!
1. Over the River and Through the Woods

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Hi y'all! I'm making an attempt at a Christmas story now! I've borrowed (if by "borrowed" one means stolen without permission…) Chibi-Tenken's characters Harusame and Sonomi to help Aoiroten Gesshoku, Sojiro and Kamatari explore the Western holiday of Christmas. Insanity, of course, will ensue! I *hope* this will be funny…

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"Where are we going again?"

"To see Harusame!" 

"Why?"

"Because it's almost CHRISTMAS!" 

Kamatari regarded the girl before him. Gesshoku was practically dancing with anticipation, her short brown hair bouncing around her face. Her square glasses slid down her nose and she paused to push them back up for a millionth time, causing the lenses to fog at her touch. Decked out entirely in shades of purple from head to foot, Gessho was a bundle of excitement. She flipped the ends of her scarf back over her shoulder, dusting snow from the front of her gi. 

"I don't understand this 'Christmas' thing." Kamatari scratched his head, following behind the girl as she tramped through the snow.

"It's a Western holiday, Silly. I've told you this before. Western religions say that the son of God was born on Christmas so they go around giving each other presents to celebrate. And they eat a lot and give stuff to poor people and Harusame invited us to celebrate Christmas!" 

"I don't know about this…Last time we went to Harusame's house, I got in a heap of trouble." The cross-dresser frowned at the memory of all the problems with the last encounter with Harusame's ragtag group.

"But it's gonna be fun! And Sojiro is gonna be there! You wanna see Sou, right?" Gessho whined, a pouty expression on her face.

"Of course I want to see Sou-kun. But bad things seem to happen to me when I'm around those three." 

"We're going anyway." She folded her arms, her expression changing to a death glare.

Kamatari sighed. Sometimes it was tough being such a nice guy. "Fine, we'll go."

"YAY!" She tackled him in a hug, knocking him to the ground, where they landed in a mound of snow. "I *LOVE* you!"

"You won't have anything to love if you don't stop doing that." A sardonic smile crossed the man's face, "You're going to kill me one of these days."

"I would *never* kill you. I'm just having fun…" She pouted some more.

"Well, it's not fun for me. You're always jumping on me, poking me, clinging to me…it's really painful, Gessho-chan." 

"Gomen." The girl reddened, "I know you're not interested, but you're so huggable." She stood up, causing a flurry of snow to fall from her clothing and onto Kamatari, who was flat on his back in the snow.

A blush crept across the man's face. He was well aware of Gesshoku's fascination with him, but, well, she was just so _overbearing _sometimes. "It's not that I'm not flattered by it…I think it's really cute, Honey. But, well, you know…"

"I know." She offered him a hand, "Now let's go!" She charged on ahead, singing lustily, if not rather off-key. "Over the river and through the wood, To Harusame's house we go; I know the way, the object of my affection is gay, and we get to see Sojiro, oh! Over the river and through the wood…"

Kamatari buried his head in his hands. He was fairly certain that was _not _how that song went, but there was no point in arguing with Gessho. She was stubborn and somewhat pushy and he didn't want to start anything. She was so excited about this odd holiday and he didn't want to ruin it for her, but something was telling him it would be a very, VERY odd experience…

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So…How many people hate me for desecrating a Thanksgiving song (yeah, I know it's a Thanksgiving song, but it sounded okay, ne?)? I hope no one was offended by that, but the rhyme was *perfect*

Pending the approval of Chibi-Tenken, this fic will continue and hopefully be finished over the next 20 days.


	2. Oh Christmas Tree

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YAY! Chibi-Tenken says writing this is okay! YAY! I've been OD-ing on Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure." This song rocks my socks…_This is our last dance This is ourselves…under pressure…_Anywho…On to the fic!!! 

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"Harusame! HARUSAME!" 

"Some one's calling your name, Harusame." Sojiro peered at the girl over the top of the book she had her nose buried in. She had been reading that thick, leather-bound book since she brought it home that morning. A light snow was falling outside and Sonomi was baking, leaving Sojiro in a state of extreme boredom.

"Hmm?" She looked up, brushing back a long strand of her hair.

"HARUSAME!" The "some one" barged into the room, springing at the girl with her book.

"Gesshoku!" Kamatari looked scandalized as he made his way in behind her. She had tackled Harusame much in the same fashion as she tackled him, knocking the other girl to the wood floor.

Sojiro looked at the older girl, clinging to her *~friend~* and talking excitedly. Aoiroten Gesshoku was such an odd girl and he distinctly remembered the last time he had been around her, when they had been searching for the scythe-wielding, cross-dressing ex-Juppon Gatana, who had been kidnapped by none other than Seijuro Hiko the 13th, for reasons the former Tenken couldn't remember. 

He scratched his head, smiling his charming smile. "Ohayo, Aoiroten-san; Kamatari-san."

Gessho looked up. "Told ya. You don't need to call me that." She said, equally cheerful. She pushed her glasses back up her nose, straightened her clothes.

"Ahem." Harusame coughed.

"Oops." The older girl's face flushed scarlet when she realized that she had her *~friend~* pinned to the floor. "Sorry 'bout that." She said sheepishly, "I was excited."

"I could tell." Came Harusame's dry response. She sat up, rubbing the back of her head. She sighed, rolling her eyes. _Now I'm going to have a huge lump on my head…_Then she looked up at her *~friend~* "So, what's with all the purple, Gessho?"

"Well, you sent me that book about Christmas and I read somewhere in it that purple is a Christmas color-"

"No it's not! Red and green are!"

"Yes it is! I read something about lighting candles and they're all purple except one is pink and the purple stands for waiting. I'm really bad at waiting, so I thought maybe it would help remind me to be patient. I mean, we have 20 WHOLE DAYS STILL!!!" Gessho did an odd sort of dance around the room, as if she were trying to release pent up energy.

"Gessho-chan, please calm down." Kamatari face-faulted at his companion's rowdy behavior. While they were both somewhat loud and flamboyant, Gesshoku tended to be loud to the point of obnoxiousness. And she didn't know when to shut up either.

"Anything you say, Kamatari!" She said enthusiastically, albeit loudly. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oops."

"It's okay." Sojiro looked at her, the smile still on his face, "Harusame can be loud sometimes too."

"HEY!" Harusame bristled, then realized she was proving the former Tenken's point, "And anyway, Gessho's not loud sometimes, she's loud all the time."

Gessho folded her arms, sticking her tongue out at the younger girl. Then her expression brightened again and she reverted back to her usual, perky self. "So, where's Sonomi? Is she still here?"

"She's baking. You know how Sonomi likes to cook. We found a recipe for a Polish dessert called 'kolachi' that's a Christmas cookie and she wanted to try making them. They have nuts in them." 

"Ooo! Nuts!" The older girl squealed with glee, then turned in the direction of the kitchen, "HI SONOMI-SAN!"

A muffled call of "Ohayo, Gessho!" followed by a string of what sounded like mild curses drifted out from the kitchen.

"I'll come help!" She replied, "Cooking is fun!"

"NO!" A collective shout from the three other bodies in the room stopped Gessho in her tracks. Kamatari grabbed her by the sleeve, Harusame by the other sleeve, and Sojiro had what appeared to be…a frown on his face. Or the closest thing to a frown the boy could manage, at least. His expression made him look slightly disturbed, but he _was _expressing displeasure.

"Nani?" Gessho pushed her glasses up again, "I'm not used to these things! Stupid Western contraptions…I could see just fine without them!" She ranted furiously.

"Darling, you were blind without them." Kamatari reminded her patiently, releasing her arm from his grasp, "And don't you remember what happened the last time you tried to help Sonomi cook?"

"Umm…" A thought crept forwards from the darkest recesses of Gessho's mind and she shuddered, quickly forcing back the memory, repressing it in the farthest depths of her brain. That had been a bad experience…"Okay, never mind…Harusame, are you decorating? I brought some stuff."

Harusame blinked her brown eyes, giving a suspicious look at the other girl. "What sort of 'stuff'?"

"Garland and candles and some smelly potpourri thingies and a wreath with some red berry things and those glass ornaments and a paper chain and *cough*mistletoe*cough* and some pretty paper snowflakes we made out of origami."

"Mistletoe?!" A horrified look crossed Harusame's face, "I hate that nasty weed! Why would you want to have that…I mean, who wants to…" She sputtered, "PDAs!"

"Oh, it's all right. It's tradition! I read up on it…In France, a long time ago, they used to use the stuff in some ceremony in the winter. It was really special!" 

"You just want to kiss Kamatari!" Harusame accused.

"I never said that!" _But I am thinking it…_Gessho bared her teeth, attempting to mask her embarrassment, "I want it purely for the sake of tradition! We're going to do this thing right."

"No way! I won't-"

"Don't fight…" Sojiro broke in, "Isn't this supposed to be a holiday of joy and peace?"

Both girls turned simultaneously to look at the young man. Same genki Sojiro as always, that goofy grin plastered across his boyish face, his dark hair curling behind his ears. He fiddled with one sleeve, wondering if they were going to kill him for breaking up the fight or butting in.

"You want that evil weed here??" Harusame glared at Sojiro, her eyes narrowed to little slits.

"I see nothing wrong with it…" A slight blush spread across his nose and cheeks, causing him to look incredibly cute.

"You're lucky my sister isn't here, Sou!" Gessho broke into a wide grin, "You'd NEVER be safe if Nissho were here and the mistletoe was up. She just loves you to death."

This caused more blushing and more glaring from Sojiro and Harusame, respectively. Gessho's twin sister, Nisshoku, was fascinated by the Tenken and was always glomping onto him when she saw him. 

"Where is Nissho anyway?" Harusame smoothly steered the conversation away from the dreaded mistletoe and on to a different subject.

"She had a bunch of errands to run…Then she was going to Tokyo to see Kenshin. Nissho doesn't like Western ideas much, so she doesn't want to spend a Western holiday with us." Gessho shrugged, "Oh well. We're completely different people any way. For twins, we don't have much in common."

"Oh. Well…Let's go find a tree before we decorate!" Harusame said cheerfully, glad they were no longer discussing mistletoe and the embarrassing deed associated with the weed, "I've been doing a lot more reading and we need to go find a tree. Kamatari, for once you have permission to cut a tree down!"

Kamatari winced, recalling the wrecking of a certain young woman's bonsai tree on the last visit to her house. Was it his fault that trees were perfect for scythe practice? He didn't think so. But then, Harusame _hadn't_ killed him for that, so…"Gomen, Harusame, but I don't have my scythe with me. Gessho-chan said I wouldn't need it for anything so I didn't bring it."

"D'oh!" Harusame scrunched her eyes shut, slapping her hand on her forehead, "Sojiro, go get your katana."

"Hai!" The Tenken scampered off.

"You guys are coming to help, right?" She looked pleadingly at the other two. It still amazed her that Gessho looked more like Kamatari than she looked like her twin sister, considering the fact that Gessho and Nissho were supposed to be identical twins. It did amuse her that there was Gessho in gi and hakama, a purple scarf draped over her shoulders, and Kamatari dressed in his favorite silk kimono. It was so backwards, the two of them.

"Of course. Gessho is hyperactive. So she needs to destroy something before she destroys one of us." Kamatari said off-handedly, "Cutting down a tree and dragging it back here will use up a lot of her energy."

"YAY!" 

Both turned to look at Gessho. She was running over to the window, where the snow was falling more swiftly. "LOOKIT! It's snowing harder! I love winter!" She hopped around impatiently, "When can we go back out?"

"Soon as Sojiro is ready."

"YATTA!"

Kamatari grinned. Gessho was so easy to please, unlike Shishio-sama. She got excited about the most insignificant things and fun doing almost anything. She was pleasant to be with and not at all demanding. He might have liked her if he weren't still suffering over the death of Shishio-sama. If he weren't still in love…But Gessho understood. After all, she was in the same sort of situation. He cared about her, but he just _couldn't _love her.

"We get to go back out in the snow, Kamatari!" She looked over her shoulder at him, her face positively radiating enthusiasm. 

Harusame smiled to herself. Sojiro had told her once about an experience with Kamatari in the snow and she knew the cross-dressing man was not fond of winter weather. But he seemed ready to go out with his *~friend~* and make her happy. He was a strange man, this much was true, but he was good to the people he cared about.

"Okay! I'm ready now!" Sojiro came running back into the room, sheathed sword in hand. He had a sapphire haori and an even darker blue scarf on, along with that usual genki smile plastered across his face. 

"Let's go!" Gessho grabbed Kamatari by the hand and dragged him towards the door, Sojiro and Harusame, who called a farewell to Sonomi, at their heals.

The foursome tramped through the town, heading towards the forest that had been desecrated by Kamatari and his scythe. The forest where they had searched for Kamatari when he'd been kidnapped by Hiko. That forest held weird memories for all of them.

Kamatari was staring up at the sky, watching as snow drifted down from the gray clouds. Weather like that was so gloomy; it depressed him. A small frown crossed his face, causing it to darken considerably. He hated being depressed. He hated- "Ack!" Something smacked him in the back.

Laughter came from behind. He looked over his shoulder, only to see Gessho in hysterics, a snowball in her hands. She grinned mischievously, her arm raised to loft that snowball at him too. He stuck out his tongue, making a face at her, and she giggled. "You wouldn't dare throw that at me."

"Wouldn't I?" Her smile widened.

He took a step back. "You wouldn't…" She didn't appear to be bluffing. That look had crossed her face, her eyes were glittering amber. Gessho, when she was plotting things, could be positively evil.

She lunged at him, tackling him for the second time that day, knocking him into the soft snow again. She was laughing, her cheeks and nose pink from the cold. Gessho in the out-of-doors was a force to be rivaled with. The young urôroni (AN: "urôro" means "aimless wandering." I just merged it with rurôni to make her and aimless wanderer, since she's not really any class of samurai/swordsman) reveled in being outside.

"You know, it's kind of odd how you can always get me flat on my back, even though-" Kamatari began, but Harusame cut him off.

"Excuse me," She muttered, "But I believe we're going to get a tree, not do…_that._"

Gessho's face turned a shade of red brighter than Kenshin's hair. "Harusame! I wasn't gonna…I…Ara…" She climbed hastily back to her feet, releasing her *~friend~* who lay dazed in the snow.

Sojiro offered Kamatari a hand to help him up, but the cross-dresser just stared up at the sky, his face a scarlet hue that rivaled that of Gessho. "Kamatari-san, are you alright?" He asked, blinking his blue eyes, the amused smile never leaving his face. 

"That was…She…She's trying to kill me! Then I'll get to be with Shishio-sama!" 

The older of the two girls glared sharply at this, her mouth becoming a tight line. Gessho had the pleasure of meeting Shishio Makoto only once, when her sister had tried to join the Juppon Gatana, and she severely disliked the man. She hated the fact that Kamatari was in love with him. In fact, she hated everything about the man. "Let's go. Come on. Harusame, let's go find a tree." She glowered.

"Right…" The younger girl frowned slightly, wondering what exactly had just happened. Gesshoku was in a dark mood all of a sudden and that was, well, scary. She tagged along behind the angry urôroni, wondering what could be done to cheer her up.

Sojiro looked back down at Kamatari. "You've made her angry, Kamatari-san."

"Well, yeah, but…She knows! She knows already. There's nothing I can do about it. I don't even know why she likes me." The older man sat up, dusting snow from his sleeves.

"Harusame-san says that people give presents to each other for Christmas. You should buy her something nice so she doesn't feel bad. You should be able to understand, ne? She's in the same sort of predicament as you." The Tenken suggested, "She really does seem to get worried about you and she really cares for you."

"That's a good idea. I'm going to go now while she's busy but don't you dare tell her, Sou!" 

"I won't. I can keep a secret. It will make things more…interesting." The smile on Sojiro's face, if possible, grew even wider. He liked surprises. He liked seeing people happy. All of his life, he had been pleasing other people and it made him happy. "I'll catch up with them and try to calm Gessho down. You go on and have fun." He shukuchi-ed off in the direction the two girls had gone, leaving Kamatari standing in the snow.

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So then…Will the girls find a tree? What kind of present will Kamatari buy for Gessho? And what of Sonomi baking kolachi (which is the greatest cookie EVER!)? Will any one make Sojiro happy instead of him making them all happy? I suppose I'll have to write and you'll have to read! *cheesy grin*

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Push the button! Ya know ya wanna!


	3. Deck the Halls

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Let's see, what to talk about? Hmmm…to see what Gessho and Harusame look like, visit the fanfic section of my shrine (link available in my profile).

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Gessho stormed off into the trees, Harusame hurrying along behind her. She was more hurt than angry; she felt as if Sojiro had taken his katana and stabbed it through her heart. Jealousy burned within her and she just wanted to curl up and cry somewhere.

"Gessho! Gessho, are you okay?" Harusame grabbed her by the arm, just as Sojiro caught up with them. The young man looked slightly winded; he hadn't used the shukuchi for any reason recently.

The older girl turned slowly, her smile automatically painting itself across her face. "I'm perfectly okay, Harusame." She said calmly.

Sojiro gave her a curious look. She simply smiled in return and he shrugged, looking around at the trees. "That one looks nice." He pointed.

"Ooo! It does!" Gessho squealed, this time sounding as happy as she looked. Her depression was momentarily forgotten as she gaped at the tree before her, rubbing her gloved hands together in glee. 

"Cut it down, Sojiro." Harusame ordered. She too thought it was a perfect tree, shaped the right way, with a good height. It was just right. _Just _right.

"Hai." Sojiro unsheathed the katana, the feel of the sword like an extension of his arm. He hated that feeling; he was supposed to be a good boy now. But old habits died hard and the sword was something which had been a part of him forever. 

He swung the blade, the hard steel slicing smoothly through the trunk of the tree. It collapsed into the snow, landing with a muffled "thud" and sending a poof of snow flakes into the air.

"Good job, Sojiro!" Gessho clapped her hands excitedly. It was then she realized that something was amiss. Something was…missing. She looked around, her hair bouncing around her face, then springing back into it's usual flippy style. "Where's Kamatari?"

"Ara, Aoiroten-san, he had something important that suddenly came up at the last minute. He'll be back later on. Don't worry about Kamatari-san. We'll worry about taking the tree back to Harusame's house and he'll be back by the time we're done decorating."

"Something came up? But he promised me he'd stay!" Her face contorted into a pout, "How could something come up? How-"

"Gessho, geez! I don't want to have a repeat of the last time he 'disappeared' and we had to go make wanted posters and search high and low. Nobody kidnapped him. Sojiro knows where he is, right Sojiro?" Harusame cut her off in the middle of her rant.

"Hai!" Sojiro nodded enthusiastically, re-sheathing his katana, "Now let's get going. I'm sure Sonomi-san will want to help us with the decorations."

"But-"

"But nothing. Let's go." Harusame grabbed one end of the tree, her fingers wrapped around a few of the branches. She looked pointedly at the other two and Sojiro followed suit, hoisting the trunk of the tree from the ground.

A frown on her face, Gessho supported the middle of the tree. She was wondering what could have "suddenly come up" and worrying about Kamatari, hoping he didn't think she was mad at him. 

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"Ooo…That's a perfect tree!" Sonomi looked up from the book Harusame had been reading earlier when the guests arrived. It had been discarded on the floor and she had wandered into the room after putting her kolachi in the oven to bake, finding the book and picking it up to shut it. A picture on the page it was opened to caught her eye and she had started reading, losing track of the time as she flipped through the pages.

"Sojiro picked it out." Harusame said excitedly, "And it is perfect. We've got to get to work decorating it."

Sonomi nodded, giving a sideways glance at Gesshoku. The older girl was being unusually quiet and this puzzled her. "What's up with-?" She jerked her head in the woman's direction, fingering her the feathery scar on her face thoughtfully, "And where, for that matter, is Kamatari?"

"They had a…disagreement." Sojiro said quietly. His voice was betraying his expression, giving him a strange air. He sounded upset, but he was still smiling, same as always. "Kamatari had an errand to run. He'll be back later."

"Oooookay…." Sonomi shrugged, ignoring the glare Gessho was giving both her and Sojiro, "We'll we might as well get to work. Gessho, you brought some decorations, right?

"Yes." The young woman brightened as the talk once again turned away from her and back to Christmas. She ran off to find her bag of decorations as Sojiro figured out how to make the tree stand up.

"Hey, I was looking at that book of yours while you were gone, Harusame. The one with all the Christmas stuff in it." Sonomi said as she helped steady the tree as Sojiro secured it into a stand. "I was reading about that 'Santa Claus' guy and you know, he sounds kind of creepy."

"What do you mean?" Sojiro peered up through the branches, blinking his sapphire eyes.

"Well, I read that he 'sees you when you're sleeping' and he 'knows when you're awake.' He must constantly be monitoring us to know what we're doing, right? I mean, what kind of guy goes around watching people like that?"

"He sees us when we're sleeping…?"

"Who does?" Gessho bustled back into the room, her travel pack in her arms.

"Santa Claus." Sonomi said, her eyes wide and intense, "He spies on people like a ninja. Maybe he works for the Oniwabanshu. Maybe he's some sort of secret government weapon and they're keeping track of our every movement right now!"

Sojiro looked at the book where it lay once again on the floor, still opened to where Sonomi had been reading. "_You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town_." He recited.

"You've got that covered pretty well, Sojiro." Gessho pointed out.

"_He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's going to find out who's naughty or nice_." He kept reading, his eyes growing wider as they scanned the page, "_He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows if you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake_." He looked up at the girls, his expression one of terror, "I'm going to be in so much trouble! I've been really naughty."

"It'll be okay, Sojiro." Harusame reassured him, "You're not an unfeeling killer any more. You've been repenting your naughty ways. I'm sure Santa Claus will understand."

"But…But…" Sojiro said nervously, "He's still watching us!"

All four turned slowly to look at one another. "WE'RE BEING WATCHED!" They all screamed, clinging to one another in a panic.

Kamatari paused outside the door. This was not a good thing to be returning to; not a good thing at all. Four hysterical teenagers. Hmm…What a thing to come home to. Taking a deep breath and hiding a small package in the sleeve of his kimono, he slid the door open and stepped inside.

"GAH! He's coming in!" Sonomi's voice drifted down the hall, "I heard the door open!"

"Santa Claus is going to get us!" Sojiro wailed, "We've been naughty!"

The man followed their voices down the hall and poked his head into the room. The place was a shambles, decorations everywhere and the four of them huddled in the middle of it. "Calm down. It's only me." He said mildly, surveying the chaos around him, "What's going on in here?"

"Santa Claus is coming to town!" Gessho whimpered, burying her face in her baggy sleeves.

"Who?" The man tilted his head to one side, trying to make heads or tails of what was going on. Only one thought registered itself coherently in his mind: _Gessho is upset_. 

She looked up over the fabric, her eyes wide and full of unshed tears, "The old, fat pervert who likes to watch people sleep. He's going to get us!" 

"I won't let any one get you, Gessho-chan." Kamatari said patiently. He still had no idea what was going on, but Gessho when hysterical was not a pleasant sight.

"You can't stop him." She pointed at the book, "He'll come after you too. And he's not the kind of guy you'd be interested in. See for yourself."

Kamatari stooped over and picked up the book. Four pairs of eyes were watching him as he moved, all of them frightened and nervous looking. "Ewww…" The old man pictured was _certainly_ not his type and certainly _not_ some one he wanted to have watching him sleep. There was only one person he would have wanted to have seen him sleep, but Shishio-sama was dead. Well…He glanced at Gessho were she was huddled clutching Sonomi's arm…Maybe not the only person. "Nothing's going to happen." 

"How can you say that so calmly??" Harusame questioned, her voice rising slightly. 

"Because I won't let anything happen. You guys are my *~friends~* and I won't let any old pervert get you. Now, come on. Look, you didn't even finish decorating the tree yet. I wanted to help anyway, so that's good, I guess. I want to help make everything pretty!" 

The four of them smiled in spite of their fear. Kamatari's perky attitude could lift any one's spirits. Gessho let go of Sonomi. Sojiro and Harusame both blushed furiously, having just realized they were hugging one another. Her face a brilliant shade of scarlet, Harusame shoved the boy away, straightening her blue clothes and staring at the Christmas tree.

"Gomen, Harusame." Sojiro said sheepishly, "Didn't mean to…hug you. I guess we were both just too frightened to realize what we were doing." He mumbled, his face, if possible, going even redder.

"It's okay." She muttered, "Now let's get back to work."

"Right." The others agreed. They set about putting the finishing touches on the tree and allowing Gessho to put the star on top of it. It was a truly spectacular tree, full and lush, with little glass balls in every color of the rainbow, garlands and tinsel adorning its branches. 

The five stood back to admire their handiwork. "It looks good." Harusame remarked, "Maybe we should do the rest of the decorations now."

"Okay." Gessho dug around in her bag. She came up with a bunch of cut-out paper snowflakes and they fluttered around the room. She pulled out a few more garlands, tossing them in Kamatari's general direction. They landed on him, one dangling from his arm, the other on his head. 

"Darling?" He pulled the garland off, handing it to Sojiro.

She ignored him, too engrossed in searching for something in the gray silk bag. "Ah-hah!" She finally exclaimed, pulling out the sought-for item. "Ta-da!" She brandished the mistletoe she had been digging for.

Harusame blanched. "Nooo…" She moaned. There was enough of that evil weed to cover every doorway in her house. This was not happening. She looked at the other current occupants of the house. She was not about to let Sonomi or Gessho kiss her. Or even Kamatari, for that matter, and he was a man. And Sojiro…This was not going to be cool. Not at all.

"Oh, Don't worry about it." Gessho said brightly, "Sure it's going to be **all over the place**, but you just have to make sure no one is under it with you and you'll be fine."

Sonomi also looked displeased by this, if slightly less so that her friend. Sojiro was blushing lightly and Kamatari frowning. He knew there was ulterior motive behind this; Gessho was always looking for any sort of reason to hug him or cling to him or hold his hand, etc, and this could only be another plot of hers.

The four watched as she ceremoniously hung the first piece over the door leading to the kitchen. "Any one want to try it out?" She asked cheerfully.

"Maybe later, Aoiroten-san." Sojiro recovered enough to say, "I think I smell Sonomi's cookies. They must be done."  
  
"My cookies!" Sonomi charged through the door, not stopping long enough for any one to consider accosting her under the mistletoe.

"I'm going to put candles in all the windows." Harusame decided, "Come on, Sojiro. You help."

"Hai." He followed the girl out of the room, each of them avoiding the freshly-hung mistletoe on their way.

Gesshoku made her way to follow them -there were still more doors she had to take care of- but she was stopped by Kamatari's voice behind her.

"Gessho?"

"Ara?" She looked over her shoulder at him. He was holding the paper chain they had made together before coming, his fingers curled lightly around the red and green loops. 

"You're not mad at me, are you? For leaving, I mean. You knew I was coming back, right? I said I would spend Christmas with you…"

"I'm not mad. And Sojiro said you were coming back. I don't really have any reason to be upset." She lowered her head, "I mean, I do know, after all." Her head came back up, her expression somewhat serene, "But you can't help but hope, you know." This said, she disappeared from the room.

He blinked. That had been very un-Gessho-like. Gessho was upbeat and cheerful and…loud. That person who had just left the room wasn't being like that at all. That wasn't Gessho. She was all excited and happy about Christmas and he ruined it for her. _I'm such an idiot! _

This would just not do! He had to make her happy again. He had to. She was his best friend in the world since they had met and he loved her to death, just not the way she wanted him to. But he would have to make it up to her, since he had messed things up in the first place. A small plan began to formulate in his mind as he thought of what he could do to be helpful. 

Happier now, he hummed to himself as he hung the paper chain around the room. This was going to be the nicest thing he'd ever done for anybody!

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**So, what is Kamatari going to do? And who's going to get kissed under the mistletoe? And what is my obsession with paper chains? I made one today. I went to preschool religious ed! Tee hee. ^_^**


	4. Yo Ho, Sending Christmas Cards!

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*Looks out window* It snowed all weekend! 13 days till Christmas and the weather is PERFECT. I'm eating blue corn chips, talking to my twin and watching Jerry Springer. I'm working on this fic and procrastinating…Could life be any better?

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Monday morning, December eighth. Gesshoku rolled over, blinking against the morning sun. She didn't want to get up. It was chilly in her room and she'd rather stay in bed. She burrowed deeper under the blankets, trying to hide herself from the frosty air.

"Aoiroten-san?" She heard Sojiro's polite voice through the thin paper door, "Are you up yet? Sonomi-san is making breakfast. We have a lot to do today."

"I'm awake…" Came her garbled response. She sat up, wrapping the blankets around her shoulders. A lot to do…? That's right; they were sending Christmas cards that day.

"All right then. Breakfast will be ready in about five minutes." There came the sound of Sojiro's soft footsteps padded down the hall as he wandered off. 

She stretched. Harusame was running by; she could hear her feet patting against the wood floor. "Morning, Gessho!" The girl yelled on her way by. Then she went thundering down the steps.

Gessho looked around; her eyes still sensitive against the sunlight. She fumbled for her glasses. Kamatari was right. She was pretty blind without them. Pushing them up her nose, her gaze came to rest on her clothes, neatly pressed and folded in a pile beside her futon. Some one had taken care of her things for her. She had left them in a heap on the floor.

__

I wonder who…Maybe…Impossible. She pushed the thought from her mind, rising from bed and stretching a second time. She was all stiff from sleeping curled up in a little ball like that.

Wrapping her yukata tighter around her, she shuffled out of the room and headed downstairs. "Hey, Sonomi, what's for breakfast?!" She called as she descended the stairs. 

"Good morning, Gessho!" Came the shouted response, "Hurry up! Every one is waiting for you!"

She blinked. Kamatari was up already? He always slept late; he liked to relax in the morning. This was peculiar. Very peculiar. She had to get to the bottom of this. She scampered into the dinning room, forgetting to pause in the doorway in hopes of snaring a certain some one under the mistletoe. 

Kamatari looked up upon her entrance, smiling pleasantly, "Ohayo gozaimasu, Darling." 

She paused for a millisecond, debating whether or not to tackle him in her usual hug. Their relationship had been strained for the past few days, but he seemed happy to see her. After a moment's debate, she settled for merely sitting next to him and hugging him, her head on his shoulder.

One of his slender eyebrows rose. This was odd. Gesshoku usually pounced on him when she saw him. Instead, she seemed mopey and clingy. Her arms were around him loosely, her head snuggled against him. "Did you sleep okay, Gessho-chan?" He asked curiously.

She shook her head. "Not really." She yawned, causing her words to come out muddled, "I've been-" Another yawn, "-Having really bizarre dreams about Santa Claus and I can't sleep. I have all these creepy nightmares and wake up thinking some one is in the room with me."

The other two girls and Sojiro nodded in agreement. The whole Santa business was thoroughly disturbing. All of them were being affected by it, save for Kamatari, and they didn't understand why the man wasn't bothered by it. He didn't seem to care that some skeevy old man was watching them all day long.

"Ara, Darling, are you afraid?" He looked down at Gessho seriously. She nodded slightly, her lower lip stuck out in a pout. "Poor baby." He teased, stroking back her tousled hair, "Next time you have a bad dream, you can come wake me up."

She beamed at him, sticking out her tongue at his mock seriousness, and he kissed her on the forehead. Happier, she looked back at the low table. "So, what's for breakfast, Sonomi?"

"Miso soup and rice. And I made a special treat called 'gingerbread' for later." Sonomi was back and forth from the kitchen, setting things on the table.

"So that's why it smells different in here." Harusame commented, "I wondered what that smell was."

"That smell?" Sonomi made a face, "You make it sound like it smells bad or something."

"Iie, it smells good. I just didn't know what it was."

"Well, let's eat before it gets cold." Sonomi plopped down at the table.

Sojiro began scarfing down his food as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Maybe it was his habits as a rurôni, when he hadn't had much to eat and food was scarce, or maybe he was just a pig, but polite Sojiro didn't have very good manners. "Sho…Today we're-" He paused to swallow, "Sending Christmas cards, ne?"

"Right." Harusame agreed, "And we have a lot to send." She reached behind her and pulled out a thick book with gilded pages labeled _Harusame's friends, family and enemies_. The book thudded to the table, causing it to shudder under its weight. "Here's all the people we need to write to."

The other four sweat dropped.

* * * * *

"This is a pain in my-"

"Better be good, Darling. Santa's watching." 

"Shut up!" Gessho sighed. Her hand hurt and it was covered in black ink. She felt incredibly peeved. If Harusame knew so many people, why couldn't she write to them herself? "I don't even know half these people!" She whined.

"Calm down."

"This is too hard! My hand is going to be like a deformed claw by the time we're done." She griped, "I can't stand this. Writing is terrible…"

"But think of how helpful you're being for Harusame. Think of her poor hand if she did it all herself. You're doing her a wonderful favor and she'll be so happy. And isn't that what this holiday is supposed to about?"

"I _guess _so." An over-dramatic sigh escaped the young woman.

"That's my girl. Be good and good things will come for you." He smiled slyly, his brandy-brown eyes lit with a mischievous smile.

She looked at him suspiciously. His girl, was she? She didn't think he'd want a girl. What was he up to? This was highly unusual. She frowned, her brow creasing. She wouldn't _mind _being his girl, but it was _never _going to happen in _this _lifetime. Sighing, she picked her brush back up and dipped it in the ink again.

Kamatari watched her as he ran his brush gracefully across his own Christmas card. He didn't see what was so bad about this, but then, Gessho was flighty and it required a lot of patience and staying still that she didn't have. Poor girl. She needed to get up and move around. "Do you want to go outside for a while, Darling?"

"Can we?!" Her eyes lit up and she jumped up, nearly spilling the bottle of ink in the process. 

"Of course." A smile graced Kamatari's feminine features. He loved to see Gesshoku happy. Making her happy and being around her was what kept life interesting now that Shishio-sama and Yumi were gone. He remembered finding out that Shishio-sama was dead; that empty, hollow feeling that came from hearing the love of his life was gone. For a long time: nothing. Then he ran into Gessho one day and she had immediately latched on to him. The attraction she had to him was something he didn't understand, but he liked being with her; she reminded him of himself.

She ran off to find her haori, pulling the gray jacket over her clothes. She was once again clothed all in purple and her glasses were sliding down her nose as she wrapped her scarf around her. "I'm ready!"

"Hold on a minute." He grinned. She was dancing with excitement, her face pink, her glasses sliding off her nose for the millionth time. He went off in search of his own overcoat, sending her off to tell Harusame they were taking a break.

Sojiro was covered in flecks of ink. It had splattered across his arms, his face and all over his fingers. He was enjoying himself immensely, writing cards to all of the people who had helped him over the past year or so. On the top of his list was the Kenshin-gumi, who had been so kind to him when he was under Shishio's influence. 

He hummed happily, not even sure what he was humming. It was almost Christmas and it seemed to be such a nice holiday. Everybody was so cheerful. He munched thoughtfully on the cookie Sonomi had given him earlier, thinking about the most important Christmas card he would write that year.

A wide grin spread across his face as he dipped the brush in the ink again. The recipient of this card would be so happy! He was glad they were celebrating Christmas.

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**Toby-chan: Your review was gracefully accepted, seeing as it was not a bad one and it was constructive criticism. To comment on a few of your points: Gessho certainly is a self-insert. I am OBSESSED with Kamatari. I love him to death. I love the idea of a girl going after him, even though he probably wouldn't be interested. She's not, however, supposed to be a Westerner. I'm going to periodically delve deeper into her past and the relationship between her and Kamatari. **

As for the gay vs. transsexual part, Kamatari refers to himself as a transvestite, which is a person who dresses and acts in a style or manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex. Never, in either the manga (I have a copy of the original Japanese release) nor the anime, is he referred to as a transsexual, which is a person **who wishes to be considered by society as a member of the opposite sex. Since they don't delve too deeply into his character, I like to think that he could possibly be bisexual. He would be wonderful in a relationship with any one, so I've written several stories with several different sorts of love-lives for him. I do love him so…**

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Thanks to all for reviewing! ^_^v


	5. Winter Wonderland

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"YES! Got to stupid final paper for Sociology out of the way! XD I'm down to 1 portfolio presentation, 1 paper about geography in Japan and 3 finals. Then I'm DONE for the semester! YATTA! I've been doing so well. I know I'll get an A in Educ 106! *boogiedance* 

Anyway, on to the fic, since I know that's why you're really here…

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"Oi, Sojiro?" Sonomi poked her head into the room where the former Tenken sat. He was a terrible mess; splattered from head to toe in ink. He looked up at her, smiling happily, and she couldn't help but laugh. "You're a mess, Sou-chan."

"I know. But I'm going to make people happy, so it's okay." He said cheerfully. There was just no getting around the boy's exuberance. He was slowly beginning to let emotions out, but it was so darn hard. None of them had seen him angry yet; he was still trying to keep _that _emotion hidden. He had scared himself when fighting Himura-san.

"Well, you need to get cleaned up. It's almost time for lunch and -What's this?" Sonomi leaned over to inspect the most important of his cards. A sly smile crossed her face as she read it. "Aww…Sou-chan, that's so kawaii."

His grin widened, making himself look even more genki. "Arigato, Sonomi."

"How did you manage to get covered in ink like that?" She still couldn't get over how filthy he was. It looked as if he had crawled out of a coal mine.

"I got in a fight with the brush." He chirped, the smile never fading from his lips, "And the brush won."

She laughed. "Well, go get yourself clean. I don't want you eating like that."

"Yes, Ma'am." He scampered out of the room, leaving the ink to dry on his cards. Sonomi shook her head. Sojiro certainly was odd.

* * * * *

"Kamatari?"

The transvestite snapped back to reality, looking over at Gesshoku. The young woman was standing beside he tree, her hand resting lightly on the trunk. The pale gray and purple of her clothing stood out against the whiteness of the snow. She wasn't wearing her glasses and her hair was wind-blown and tousled. "What is it, Darling?"

"Are you really happy?" Her eyes met his as she brushed back a strand of hair. Her expression was serious and her voice wistful.

"Ara, Darling, don't sound so sad. I am happy." He smiled faintly, "But deep down, I am truly very lonely sometimes. I still love Shishio-sama. I know he didn't love me back. I know I wasn't his favorite. I know I couldn't even compete with Sojiro. But everything is so different now."

"Is it different bad?" She asked quietly, her eyes wandering down to the snow. She felt like her heart had shattered. She knew she could never be with him, not in the way she wanted, so having him close by as a friend was enough to make her happy. If he said things were bad and he didn't like being with her, she would just die.

He was silent for a long time, just looking at her. She seemed so sad and that wasn't right. He didn't want to make her sad; he cared about her too much. Even if he couldn't love her how she wished he would…He didn't want her to cry. He never wanted her to feel the way he had. He had known her for over a year and he had come to love her greatly in that time.

"Say something…Anything. Even tell me you can't stand being with me. I just want to know the truth, Kamatari. I won't ever bother you again, if it will take that for you to be happy." She fiddled with the end of her scarf, her fingers running over the edges of it.

"No, Darling, don't think that. You don't need to throw away your happiness for mine." He took her hand in his, "I'm sorry things have to be like this. I would love to be able to tell you that I love you because I know you would be so happy. But I just don't feel that way."

"I know." Gessho sighed, "I know you can't love me. But I'll love you anyway. I always will." She was being incredibly shy, her gaze averted from his, "I can't help it. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met."

"We'll always be friends, Gessh. I think you're wonderful too. I love being with you and I would be lonely without you. You're so young. You need to find some one else who will love you back and get over me. I'm not right for you and we both know it."

"I guess…" She looked up at him and she looked so sad that he felt like crying. "…I guess not all wishes come true."

"I'm so sorry." He hugged her gently, "I never wanted it to be like this."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault." She smiled wanly, "I remember the first time we met. My sister was arguing with Shishio and I saw you going down the hall. You saw me and came over to say hi and you shook my hand and my heart began to pound and I couldn't stop staring at you because you were so beautiful. But I thought you were a woman. It scared the hell outta me."

He laughed, hugging her tighter. "Do you feel better about it now?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I guess I was just a little scared you'd want me to go away. I'm so forward about loving you…"

"It's all right. I know just how you feel." He blushed, still slightly flustered by her advances. Her chest was pressed up against him and, wow, did she have a chest. He'd never noticed before; she always wore such baggy clothes. He couldn't help but wonder what Shishio-sama would have thought if he were a woman with a chest like that. 

"We'll be friends forever?" She grinned up at him.

"Forever." He agreed. 

"Good. That means I can do this." She squirmed out of his arms and bent to scoop up some snow. Packing it into a firm ball, she lobbed it at him, hitting him squarely in the chest. He squealed and she scampered off, giggling. 

"You'll pay for that!" He ran off after her, laughing madly, "Come back here, Gesshoku!"

"You've got to catch me, Baka!" She flung a few more snowballs over her shoulder, missing him by a lot. Her face was pink with glee, and she was out of breath from running, but she was happy and laughing.

He charged at her, catching her in his arms in a tight hug and swinging her around. She shrieked with laughter, trying to pry his arms off her. "You surrender?"

"Let me go! Let me go! I give up!" She twisted around in his arms so that they were face to face, their noses only inches apart. Then she blushed, drawing back a little, her eyes wide.

He looked at her, frowning slightly, unsure what to say. What had just happened? They were having fun together, fooling around like they always did. What had he done that caused her to withdraw like that? He scratched his head, still puzzling over her behavior.

"Can we go back now? It must almost be time for lunch and I don't want to make Sonomi wait for us…" She glanced up at him.

"Of course." He followed behind as she tramped off through the snow, wondering just what was wrong with her. Did it have something to do with the conversation they'd just had? Did he do something wrong?? Gesshoku's mind was so complicated. He'd been trying to be nice and it seemed no matter what he did she just got all weird on him.

Gessho's gaze stayed on the ground as she walked back to Harusame's. She was feeling particularly confused at the moment and unsure what she should do. She loved Kamatari so much that it was probably an unhealthy obsession, but she couldn't bring herself to leave him and find some one more suited for her. They had been friends since the day she met him nearly three years before and close companions for the past year. Now that she loved him -and he knew it- what was she supposed to do? 

__

I remember the day we met…Nissho had gone to try and get a job. We were only sixteen at the time, but she was good with her sword. I was waiting in the hall, since I wanted nothing to do with that terrible man. Kamatari passed by and he saw me there, looking bored, so he stopped to say hello. I remember thinking he was a woman and he offered me one slender hand as a greeting. When I took his hand in mine if felt this…spark_. I remember…I was thinking 'so this is what love at first sight is like. But that's wrong because she's a woman and I'm a woman. And, crap, I'm in a lot of trouble now…' I didn't want to love another woman like that. It was as if I somehow knew he was a man…_

Sojiro was sweeping snow from the front walk when the duo returned. He waved a cheerful greeting, calling "Hello, Kamatari-san! Hello, Aoiroten-san!" 

"Hi Sou." Kamatari responded pleasantly, trying to mask his confusion over the situation with Gesshoku.

The young woman merely scowled. "I told you not to call me that." She grumbled. Sojiro had an odd habit of addressing her by her last name. She was sure he had never called her Gesshoku in the three years since they met and it bugged her to no end.

"Gomen." He replied, "I can't help it. I was brought up to be polite and we still don't know each other that well." His smiled widened, "Sonomi-san is almost done with lunch. You're just on time."

"Okay." The girl nodded, "I'm going to go set the table then." She brushed past him and into the house.

Sojiro looked at Kamatari. "What did you do to her now? She seems mad again."

"I don't know." Came the cross reply, "We were fooling around and she all of a sudden clammed up and got all serious, as if we hardly knew each other. I've been living with her for a year and I still can't figure her out." He sighed, sitting down on the steps as Sojiro continued to sweep, "This 'being with a woman' stuff is hard. I always knew what Shishio-sama wanted, even if I couldn't give it to him."

"You know what she wants too. You're not just another person to her; you're some one she cares about deeply. She truly loves you, Kamatari, whether you are a man or a woman. I believe you need to think about that some more."

"You make my head hurt, Sou. I can't think about all this…Gessho being mad at me, Gessho in love with me, Christmas is coming, killer Santa Claus on the loose…It's all too much."

Sojiro nodded sympathetically. He understood and wanted to be helpful, but he could only offer so much advice. Helping Kamatari was strange, because the man was so much like a woman and Sojiro didn't understand the mind of a woman, not one bit. Besides, he had his own problems to worry about; problems involving mistletoe and a certain young woman. "Follow your heart. That's the last piece of advice I can give you. You're the only one who can make this better or worse." This said, he marched into the house, the broom trailing behind him, leaving Kamatari there to think, his chin in his hands.

__

I do love her and I want her to be happy. But I just can't give her what she needs, even though I'm physically capable of it. Although…There is one thing I could tell her, one little sentence, that would blow her mind. But I can't do that. It was such a long time ago and both our fathers are dead now. Surely it can't be expected of us…I was only a child then. She was just a baby. No one ever told her. She doesn't know. And Mother never mentioned it after Father passed on. It was some twist of fate that we met again.

He picked at his clothes, the silk like water between his fingers. He felt beautiful in those clothes; he felt like the woman he should have been. This was what he wanted from his life, right? He always knew there had been some mistake and he was not supposed to be a man. His parents hadn't understood. The Aoirotens hadn't understood. But Gesshoku…She loved him in spite of the oddness in his life and his gender confusion. This was a big mess. 

Harusame was calling him in for lunch, so he stood up, brushing snow from his jacket. This would have to wait until later. His stomach grumbled, dragging his mind from his love problems. Love would have to wait. At the moment, lunch was more important.

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**Poor ending, ne? But I'm hungry…I couldn't help it. It's 12:30 and all I had to eat so far was a handful of chex mix. I need food, so no complaining about the badness of this. To quote George Costanza: "I can feel my stomach sucking up against my spine."**

Off to find food…


	6. Joy to the World?

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Um, not much to say. Finals all week, going home on Friday and shopping and Friendly's later today, I think. So yeah…

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Saturday, December 13.

"Hurry up! Get ready! We have less than two weeks left and we need to go shopping still!"

"I don't know what to buy any one."

"Well, we need to go. Don't you want to get Kamatari something?"

"Well, of course. But I don't-"

"Too bad. We're going."

"Mou…" Gessho sighed in defeat. Harusame and Sonomi had ganged up on her, telling her she needed to go Christmas shopping since part of the holiday involved presents. The problem? Unlike most girls, Gesshoku did not like shopping.

Now the other two girls were dragging her out the door as she hurriedly pulled on her haori. 

She sighed. Shopping…Ugh. She'd rather be off with Kamatari and Sojiro and she didn't even know what she was doing. Of the two of them, Nisshoku had gotten almost all of the more girly characteristics, except she had no figure. Gessho had enough of a figure for the both of them and she hated it. That was why she always wore such baggy clothes. Her tomboy attitude was why her mother told her she would never find a husband. Truth was, she didn't want a husband. She only wanted one man and she knew she would never have him. Unlike Nissho, who was always guy watching. Unlike Nissho, who fell in love every other day. Unlike Nissho, who wore pink kimonos and braided her long dark hair. Unlike-

"Nisshoku!"

Gessho looked up, startled by Sonomi's voice. What startled her more was that there indeed was her sister, standing at the bottom of the steps, her arms folded across her chest. She was wearing several layers of clothing, but Gessho could still see the hem of her pale green kimono sticking out from under her coat. 

"Sonomi; Harusame." She nodded greetings to the two younger girls, then her cool gaze came to rest on her sister. "Gesshoku."

"Nisshoku." Came the quiet response. Seeing her sister could mean one of two things for Gessho: Something bad had happened to a family member or Nissho simply wanted to amuse herself by tormenting Gessho and her friends.

"Mother sent me. I have some interesting news for you."

"Oh?" The urôroni's eyebrows went up slightly, "And what did Mama send you for?"

"Can we go back in the house, Dear Sister? It is rather cold out here." 

"Of course." She looked dismissively at the other two, "You guys go on without me. I'll shop later." Needless to say, letting them go and leave her behind was a relief in itself. But she knew Nissho meant business. The twins weren't exactly the best of friends, despite their natural bond and the closeness they shared. Nisshoku tended to be serious and gloomy, while Gesshoku was often bubbly and cheerful.

"What did Mama send you for?" Gessho settled herself on a cushion on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest. She watched as Nissho sniffed in disgust at the Christmas Tree. Her family was so old fashioned…They hated Western ideas. They wouldn't embrace the revolution. The twins had only been little when it had occurred and their father died, but their mother often spoke of the way things were before. Aoiroten Kumori was strict and ridged, which was part of the reason Gesshoku had left home. She was suffocating at home.

"To tell you that your arranged marriage is scheduled to take place in eleven days." Nisshoku said blithely. 

"My WHAT!?" Her sister shrieked. She looked at Nissho, trying to figure out if she was joking or not. Her twin was so impassive, it was hard to tell what she was thinking.

"Arranged marriage." Nissho repeated slowly, as if Gessho would understand better that way, "She wanted me to tell you that you have to be home in a week to get ready. A lot of work went into this, so you'd better not screw it up. Father arranged it when we were babies and you're lucky because I highly doubt you would ever find a husband otherwise."

"I don't _want_ a husband." Gessho's expression suddenly darkened, causing her to look much more like her sister.

"That's right; I forgot. You're in love with that cross-dresser, aren't you? He's a disgusting man and nothing will ever come from loving him." Nissho peered into her twin's eyes, trying to find some reasoning behind her obsession, "You might as well do as Father asked. That man will never love you, Gesshoku."

"You don't know that." She looked away, her heart sinking low in the pit of her stomach. Kamatari…She would be forced to leave him, the only good thing in her life. She couldn't marry some one she didn't love. She hated her father for arranging this. She hated her mother for enforcing it. And right then, she hated whoever it was she was supposed to marry.

"It doesn't matter anyway. You know Mother would carry out any of Father's wishes, no matter how difficult they are." Nissho shrugged. She had known from the start that Gesshoku would not be happy about this and she did feel sorry for her sister, but they were Father's orders. She also knew that the missing groom, who had disappeared from his house ten years ago, was frantically being searched for in time for the pre-arranged date. 

"Darling, we're home!" Kamatari's voice rang out down the hall. He and Sojiro had been out together on some mystery errand and they were coming back to help the girls bake more cookies. 

Or, that had been the plan, at least.

He poked his head into the common room to find Gessho in tears and a girl in a green kimono sitting facing her, her expression empty and unfeeling. The other girl was Nisshoku, Gessho's sister, but what was she doing there? And why was Gessho crying?

Kamatari sank down beside Gessho, taking her in his arms. His heart ached at the sight of her in tears and he wondered what had happened to her. "What's wrong, Gessho-chan?"

"My mother wants me to get married to some one I've never even met on Christmas Eve!" She wailed, her face buried in the front of his kimono. 

Nisshoku, meanwhile, had stood to greet Sojiro, who stood in the doorway. She had had an eye on him since she first met him, way back when she went to Shishio as a swordsman. She bowed before the boy, who looked slightly bewildered, then looked up, noticing the mistletoe. _I'm not much into Western customs like that sister of mine, but there is that theory behind mistletoe and I am standing here with Sojiro the Tenken…_

Not giving the young man a chance to escape, she closed in on him, just as Harusame and Sonomi appeared in the hall. Harusame turned very red, her eyes widening, then narrowing down to thin slits at the sight of Nisshoku -whom she didn't like very much- and Sojiro there under that evil little plant. She pushed past the two of them as Sojiro struggled out of Nissho's embrace.

"Harusame…" He looked after her in dismay, nearly able to see the steam rising from her. She was angry at him, or maybe just at the mistletoe and the kiss. How was he ever supposed to tell her if she didn't approve of that plant? He suddenly understood why mistletoe was such a deadly plant. He looked back at Nissho. "I'm terribly sorry, Aoiroten-san, but I'm not interested in you. I hardly even know you and it would be rude of me to let you think otherwise."

The girl frowned slightly, her dark eyes never leaving Sojiro's face. He was a little taken aback by her, she was just as emotionless as he was, only her face showed nothing but a blank, Aoshi-like stare most of the time. She would have been pretty, if she weren't such an empty shell of a being.

Harusame and Sonomi, the latter of whom gave a frigid look to Nissho on the way by, were looking down at Gessho and Kamatari. Gessho was whimpering slightly, her face still buried in Kamatari's shoulder, and the man looked up, his countenance pale. He didn't say a thing, just looked sadly back down at Gessho, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"What did you do to them?" Sonomi asked, her voice dripping with accusation.

"I merely told my sister of her upcoming wedding, that's all." Nissho shrugged, her expression still unconcerned. 

"Her WHAT?" Harusame exclaimed.

"Arranged marriage…" Sonomi said softly, "It happens a lot. Probably would have happened to us, if our parents weren't dead."

"Oh, Gessho…That really stinks." Harusame looked down at her sobbing friend. Poor Gessho…She loved Kamatari and now she had to marry some one else. It seemed so unfair; so wrong. Kamatari loved her in his own way and the two were always together, save for that nasty little episode where Seijiro Hiko held Kamatari ransom for sake money, and it would be hard on them to be separated. 

"I can't do it!" The young woman wailed, "I just can't! I could never love another man in my life. I love Kamatari! Even if he can't love me back…It doesn't matter…And I'm supposed to do it on Christmas Eve too! Christmas is ruined for everybody!"

Kamatari hugged her wordlessly, biting his lip to keep from saying what was on the tip of his tongue. Like Sojiro had said a few days ago, he had the power to make everything better. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to -he knew how happy it would make Gesshoku- but he just couldn't say it.

"You _have_ to do it, Gesshoku." Nissho said scathingly, "Father wanted it. You have to go home, get married, and be a good wife, just like the rest of the women in our family."

"Shut up already!" Sonomi jumped to her feet, automatically reaching for the sword which no longer hung at her side. "Damn! I always forget that it's not there any more." She glared at Nissho, her eyes narrowed down to thin lines, "You need to stop being so mean. Your poor sister has to marry some one she doesn't even know."

"That's if they find the groom in time. Nobody has seen him in ten years." Her voice still gave nothing away; she was totally unconcerned about everything. 

Kamatari frowned, sweat forming under his hair. They were looking for him! He was going to be forced into getting married. Granted, it _was _Gessho he was supposed to marry and she _was _his best friend, but still! He didn't want to get married. Not to her; not to any one else. This was getting more and more complicated. 

"Nobody knows where he is?" Sojiro repeated, "Interesting…" He looked pointedly at Kamatari, as if he somehow knew. Sojiro always could see right through people, as if they were transparent. While he hadn't displayed many emotions, he could easily read people like a book. Could he have known somehow?? "What's his name, Aoiroten-san, if you don't mind my asking."

Nisshoku's face darkened for a moment, "I have no idea. All I know is that Father and Mother were friends of his parents. His father is also dead, so his mother and uncle have been searching for him desperately, in order to carry out both deceased men's wishes." She looked over at her twin and her friend, wondering how they would react to this whole thing. What would that revolting man think of all this? He hadn't said a word. "You _have _to go, Gesshoku."

"Will…" She sniffled, "Will you come with me, Kamatari?" Her head rested on his shoulder, and she wiped her eyes, "I don't want to go do this without a friend there."

"I'm sorry, Darling, I can't. I wouldn't be able to…" He said sadly. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't want to do it. He was only going to hurt Gessho, no matter what. 

Some Christmas this was.

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**Yeah, this wasn't funny. I suck at humor, so this is headed more towards a dramatic fic, but there still is *slight* humor, right?**

RIGHT???


	7. I'll Be Home For Christmas

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Finals week! Eep! My first one is chemistry, today at 2:00. Lucky me. At least I only have 2 more…Then home and Christmas, New Years, Lauren's b-day and Genericon before back here. Jeff's making me a kimono and I'm gonna cosplay as…*drum roll*…KAMATARI! (who else???? ^_^)

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"Kamatari-kun? Come here, Kamatari-kun."

"Mama…I'm coming!" Little seven-year-old Kamatari pattered down the hall, running to the room where his mama was. Laughing, he ran through the door, his light hair bouncing around his childish face. "Here I am!"

"There's my good little boy." His mother smiled, "Come here; there's some one very important I want you to meet."

"Who? Who?!" He crawled into her lap, bouncing excitedly, "Who, Mama?" He followed his mother's gaze to the tiny bundle in another woman's arms. "Ooo! A baby!" He breathed, taking in the tiny child's dark eyes and feathery hair. The baby yawned, rubbing her eyes with a fist.

"That's a very special baby, Darling. You're going to marry her some day. Eighteen years from today, to be exact."

"Marry?" He blinked, "Mama, what does that mean?"

"You're going to take care of her and love her, just like I take care of you." His mother smiled, "Papa and Aoiroten-san decided that you and little Gesshoku will get married when you're older."

"I'll take care of her?" He echoed, looking down at the girl once more. He tentatively reached out to touch her and she grabbed his hand, giggling. A smile graced his face and his eyes lit up. "Mama, she likes me!" He beamed down at the baby, "I'll take good care of you, Aka-chan. I promise."

"Kamatari? Kamatari!" 

"What?" The man startled awake, his reverie becoming a hazy thought drifting towards the back of his mind. "What? What's wrong?" He sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Where are you?" Came Gesshoku's whispered response, "It's so dark in here…"

"Oh, Darling, come here." He stretched out his hands to her, that promise he made eighteen years before ringing through his mind. "Did you have another bad dream?"

"It was worse this time." She said softly, "It was worse…I had to marry Santa Claus!" Her fingers brushed against his and she fell into his arms, hugging him tightly. "This is so terrible. I can't do it. I can't at all, Kamatari. Mother and Father wanted it for me, but it's all wrong. How can I marry some one I don't love?"

"Perhaps you will grow to love him, Darling." The man's voice was quiet and sad, "Perhaps in time you won't think so badly of him."

"I could never love him. In fact, I hate him for even existing." She burst into tears, "I love _you_ and I won't ever love any one else."

"Oh, Gessh…I…I…It's going to be okay. It will all work out in the end." He stroked her hair, "You'll see."

"I don't want to get married…Kamatari, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to be some one's wife and stay at home all the time. I can't do that. You know I can't." Her head was on his shoulder and he had his arms around her protectively, "This is terrible. I don't know what to do. I can't run away from this. But I don't want to do it either…"

"Sometimes things are beyond our control, Darling. You can't always get what you want. But things always work out in the end. Everything will be fine…" His chin rested on the top of her head. He was all torn up inside; how would he deal with this? Part of him was happy that Gessho was so devoted to him. He did love her, after all, in his own way. He had promised he would always look after her, even if that was only a promise he made as a child. Part of him was still hurt over Shishio-sama's death. Part of him was terribly confused over everything. He felt tired and worn out. 

"I guess I'll have to go home. I really have no other choice. I'll have to be brave and hit this head on. My husband probably won't like me. He'll probably wish his parents never agreed to let him marry me. He'll be so disappointed."

"No one could be ever be disappointed in you. You're a wonderful girl. I don't think your husband will dislike you simply because you're not like other women. That would make you very boring."

"I don't understand why you won't come with me." She sighed, "I need you to come. I can't face Mama alone. I want you to be there for me."

"I'd love to be there for you. But I just can't. Please try to understand, Darling, this is something that will be terribly hard for me too. I'm going to lose my best friend. I can't stand the thought of being without you. We have so much fun together."

"I'll miss you. I'll miss you so much. I'll probably never see you again…" Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I love you so much."

"I know. I know you love me. And I'm so sorry that I don't feel the same towards you. You know I love you -it's just not romantic- right?" 

"I know." She said miserably, "That's part of why this is all so hard. Because you do care about me. I just want things to stay the way they always are. We were going to have such a nice Christmas…Everything was going to be perfect. And I ruined it."

"You didn't ruin it, Gessh. None of this is your fault." How he wanted to tell her so badly and end her distress right there. But he wasn't brave enough; he couldn't just say 'by the way, I'm the one who's supposed to be marrying you. But I don't really want to and I don't feel obligated to.' He thought for a moment. Then a thought crossed his mind. "Gessho, suppose -just hypothetically- suppose I was the one you were supposed to marry."

"Nothing against you, but I still wouldn't want to get married. I'm just not ready. I can't do this." Her voice became a whimper and she buried her face in his chest. "I just want everything to stay the way it is so I can be with you and keep doing what I want. Even if we are only friends."

__

She doesn't want to get married either! An alarm went off in his brain, _I'm not the only one who doesn't want to do this! But…Will it really be that different? If she's happy being friends and nothing more, suppose we did as our parents wished. Suppose I marry her, but we agree to keep things the way they are? Suppose…_"I'd like it that way too, Darling. Now, you had better get some sleep. We'll be busy tomorrow."

"Can I stay here?" She yawned.

"Of course you can." He smiled through the darkness. Sometimes, as much as he hated to admit it, he did find perverse pleasure in being with her. He was -no matter how much he denied it- still a man. His body had always disagreed with his mind, finding the worst times to remind him that -guess what- he wasn't a woman.

This was one of those times. 

He held her close in his arms as she fell asleep, that promise from eighteen years ago ringing through his mind like a steeple bell. _I'll take good care of you, Aka-chan. I promise. _He was not about to break that promise.

* * * * *  
  
Breakfast the following morning was silent. Every one was too busy glaring at Nisshoku to speak to one another. The woman sat there, seemingly unaffected by the dark looks her five companions gave her; she merely continued eating her breakfast unconcernedly.

Gessho sat very close to Kamatari. Any closer and she would have been on his lap. Sonomi and Harusame were sitting on either side of Sojiro as if they were trying to protect him from Nissho. Sonomi knew Sojiro was interested in Harusame and Harusame wanted to keep Sojiro away from Nissho because she was interested Sojiro.

"You have six days to get your things and get home so Mother has time to prepare you." Nissho said offhandedly, "I'm sure she'll need to buy you new clothing and things. She wants to see you before you get married."

Gessho's eyes narrowed down to slits and the glares from the other two girls became icy. "Mama would not want to see me. She's always loved you more than me because you were born first. She'll only tell me what a disappointment and failure I am, even though you're the one who tried to be a swordsman."

"You're a fool, Sister." The girl's twin finally sounded as if something had got to her and her expression showed some degree of sadness. "Mother may not show it, but you are her favorite. Why do you suppose you are the one getting married, not me? I was supposed to be a boy. The firstborn should have been a boy to carry on the family name. I was a disappointment."

They stared at one another for a moment, their expressions mirroring each other's. Nissho stared straight on and Gessho had her head tipped to one side as they tried to understand one another. Then Nissho's mask slid back into place and no one could tell what she was feeling any more.

"I wanted to go to the market today." Sonomi changed the topic, "I need to get things for our Christmas feast. I wanted you all to come and help me."

Gessho brightened slightly, the idea of Christmas hadn't totally disappeared from her mind yet. There was still that chance that some miracle would happen…She looked up at Kamatari, a hopeful smile on her face.

He smiled back at her, glad she was feeling a little happier. He hated to see her so upset. It was very unlike her. "You want to go, Darling?"

"Yes! Can we?" She nodded enthusiastically.

"Sure." 

Nissho watched this, her dark eyes focused on the duo. This was bad. No matter how much that man denied it, he was attracted to her sister. He cared for her; he had feelings for her. No matter how it was put, it wouldn't help the situation. What was he going to do, knowing full well that Gesshoku didn't want to be married? Depending on the depth of his feelings for her, this could get ugly.

Very ugly.

"Excuse me, I hate to ruin things for you, but I'm not leaving unless my sister is coming with me." She said flatly, "Mother expects me to bring her home to her groom and I will not let her down."

Kamatari frowned. Nisshoku was getting on his nerves. So were both of their mothers. Couldn't they have just given up? Their fathers were both dead and it had been their doing that caused this whole damn problem.

"You said I have six days. I'm not going back to Kobe until I absolutely have to." Gessho folded her arms.

"You'll go without a fight?" Her twin looked slightly surprised by this.

"I will accept my fate." She looked down at her hands, "I will do what is expected of me. All I ask is these last few days with my friends."

Her reluctant (and unknown) groom looked at her curiously. He admired her bravery and her honor in this situation immensely. Gessho was so much more courageous than he was. He felt ashamed by this. _If she can do it, so can I. _He decided then and there that he would grab hold of the situation and change both of their fates for the better.

"We're coming with you!" Sonomi and Harusame declared at the same time.

"We won't let you go alone."

"We talked about it last night."

"If you're getting married on Christmas Eve, we can still have Christmas. We'll just do it in Kobe instead. We'll all come with you."

Sojiro nodded, "We can certainly celebrate Christmas in Kobe, even if we don't have our decorations. You said yourself that Christmas is everywhere, Aoiroten-san."

"Thank you, every one. It means so much to me." Gessho smiled faintly, "I suppose we still can have a Merry Christmas. Santa Claus will still find us. He is everywhere."

"That's the spirit!" Sonomi said cheerfully, "I'll hold off on my shopping until we get to Kobe. And I'll make the best food ever so we can celebrate your wedding and Christmas." She had slight suspicions about the situation, based solely on how Kamatari was acting, and she had a feeling the whole thing would have a happy ending.

"All right then." Nisshoku set down her bowl and stood up. "We should leave today then. There's much to do."

Gessho nodded reluctantly. "All right." She looked at Kamatari beside her, "You'll come?" 

"I'll come as far as Kyoto. But I won't go to the hot spring with you. I can't go there. And I can't watch you do this."

"I understand." She said softly, "I don't think any less of you for it. I know Kobe holds bad memories for you, even if I don't know what they are." She rose to her feet, ready to go get her things. The rest of the small group ran off, gathering things they would need for Christmas, while Nissho went off to get train tickets.

Kamatari was waiting by the front door when Gessho appeared, all of her things packed into that silk bag. She looked up at him, her expression somewhat grim. "You ready to go, Darling?"

She looked at him, then up at the mistletoe hanging over the door. "No. There's still one more thing I need to do…" She set down her bag and before he realized what she was doing, she tackled him in a hug, her lips meeting his in an incredibly scandalous kiss.

Then she took a step back, straightening her clothing. "Now I'm ready to go."

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So, this is getting more and more serious. Notice how I changed the genre…I should give up on humor. But I am enjoying the writing of this and it is in my usual style. Fireruby asked how I came up with arranged marriage idea…I'm not sure. I just decided to throw in a plot twist along the way ^^;;


	8. All I Want For Christmas

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Got my shopping done yesterday…What a disaster 9_9 Sorry Drew! ^^;;

Then I realized I never got anything for Julia-sensei…I truly am her baka deshi =P

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Kamatari stared out the window as the train whizzed along down the tracks. Gesshoku was asleep beside him, her head on his shoulder. He was thinking and thinking hard. Only hours before they had left Harusame's house. Only hours before had Gessho kissed him.

__

Why did she do that? She knows I can't love her, and yet…

It felt good.

Crap.

I'm in trouble now.

Sighing, he shifted slightly, trying not to awaken the sleeping girl. Harusame, Sonomi and Sojiro were sitting across from them. Nisshoku was on the other side of Gessho, her face buried in a book. There had been whispered discussion amongst the other three for some time -Sonomi swore she had seen Kamatari and Gessho kissing, but the other two didn't believe her.

Gessho mumbled something, clutching his sleeve, snuggling closer to him. He had discovered the previous night that she had an odd habit of clinging to things while she slept. Once he had pried her off of him, she had latched on to his blanket and he had tried to figure out how to free it from her grasp. It was a strange quirk, but it was part of what made Gessho, well, Gessho.

"Kamatari-san?" Nisshoku, who hadn't said a word to any one, looked up over the top of her book.

"Hai?" He said softly, still trying not to disrupt Gessho's rest.

"My sister is in love with you."

"I know that."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes; I do love her." He looked down at Gesshoku, who had a death-grip on his arm. A smile crossed his face and he looked back up, meeting the cold eyes of his friend's twin, "But am I _in _love with her? No. There is nothing romantic about the love I feel for your sister. She knows it as well as I do."

"I don't understand why she loves you so much." Nissho said lightly, as if it didn't matter at all.

"To tell the truth, I don't either. But I am flattered by it. What normal girl would ever go for a guy like me?"

"You just answered your own question." Came the dry response, "My sister is not 'normal.' She's her own person. Perhaps that's why she likes you."

"Oh?"

"You are just as unique as she is. You are a lot like her, from your hair to your personality. She finds a common bond in you that we never shared, even as twins. But the whole point of this discussion was that I want to know what you will do about all of this."

"What can I do? She has to do as your parents wanted. The only thing I can do is offer her support."

"But you're not even going with us."

"I have my own reasons." He paused, "Kobe is not a place I wish to return to. Things happened there which you'd never understand. Kobe holds bad memories for me. I'll go as far as I can, but Gessho needs to do this on her own. Having me there will only remind her how much she doesn't want to do this."

"I understand. You are good to my sister. She is lucky to have friends like all of you. I know I am rigid and not very likable; this is why I am often alone. My sister is the only person who was ever kind to me and I want her happiness. She is truly unhappy about this, but there is nothing I can do."

Kamatari said nothing in response to this, simply looked down at Gessho. She had slumped down in the seat, her head rested in his lap. She was still clutching his arm between both her hands and her breathing was deep and shallow. A satisfied smile graced her face and she sighed in her sleep. _You'll get your wish, Darling. You'll get your wish._

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Aoiroten Kumori was pacing back and forth in her late husband's study. Nine days until her daughter's wedding and there was no sign of either the bride or the groom. Nisshoku had promised she would bring Gesshoku home and she was a good, obedient child, so that wasn't the problem. Aika and her brother Yanma had been searching diligently for the groom, but no one knew where he was. 

"Mother!" Nisshoku's voice drifted down the hall, "I've brought Gesshoku back."

Gessho followed reluctantly behind her sister, her thoughts elsewhere and miles away from Kobe and the Aoiroten-onsan. Kamatari had said good-bye to her the day before in Kyoto and she was still broken up by it. His farewell -_I love you; I always will love you; and I know you'll make me proud-_ ran through her mind and her forehead burned where he had kissed her.

Walking down the halls of the Aoiroten-onsan brought back thousands of old memories. The one which was most vivid was that of herself about eight years old, running down the hall to greet a young man who used to work at the spring. 

__

"Aniki! Aniki!" She had run down the hall, calling to him. 

"Hey there, Little Lady!" He caught her up in his arms, swinging her around. "And how are you today, Gessho-chan?"

She'd smiled brightly. "Mama got me a pretty new kimono, see?" She slid from his arms and twirled around. 

"You look lovely, Koishii. Purple is a good color on you."

"Arigato." One of her hands found its way into his, "Aniki, do you love me?"

"Of course I love you. I promised a long time ago I would always take good care of you."

"I love you too." She grinned impishly up at him, causing him to smile.

She had always remembered that particular ritual. He came nearly every day and had stopped to talk to her every time. She didn't remember who he was and it startled her that this time the memory came complete with Kamatari as the young man she had loved so. Her heart ached. _Of course,_ she told herself, _I'm only imagining it as him because I miss him so much. There was no way…I've only known him for three years._

"Gesshoku." Kumori glided down the hall, her arms open to her younger daughter, "Welcome home."

"Hello, Mama." She said quietly, "I came home as you asked. But I want you to know, I'm not happy about this and I don't want to do it. I only am because you and Father wanted me to. I had to lose my best friend because of this and you ruined our Christmas."

Harusame, Sonomi and Sojiro watched curiously as Gesshoku interacted with her mother. Aoiroten Kumori looked nothing like either of her daughters; she was tall and lithe, with thick, black hair and inky eyes. Her features were patrician and high-brow, her expression stern. She was beautiful, in an overbearing, deadly sort of way. Some of her facial expressions were apparent in Nisshoku, but for the most part the girls did not bear a resemblance to her at all.

"You may not have to go through with it, Gesshoku. We cannot find your groom."

"Yes; Nisshoku told me. I don't understand how he just disappeared when I was eight years old. How is it that no one knows where he is?"

"He left one day and never returned. You were the only one he said good-bye to; he came here and saw you, then left. His mother and his uncle have been looking for him for a year and no one knows where he is."

Sonomi looked at Sojiro. Both of them knew something was up with Kamatari and Sonomi had voice her suspicions to Sojiro, who agreed that it did seem probable. So why then had Kamatari disappeared? Was he really that afraid of facing Gessho with what she wanted?

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Not too far away, on the edge of Kyoto, Kamatari stood outside a house. He looked up, taking in the full splendor of the structure, then he sighed, sliding the door open. 

"Mother, I'm home." 

Aika hurried down the hall, her heart pounding wildly. After ten years, her wayward son had returned home, just in time to honor the promise he had made as a child. "Kamatari-kun!" She exclaimed excitedly. The she stopped. That wasn't her son. 

That was a woman.

"Are you all right, Mother?" 'She' tipped her head to one side, studying the woman's haggard face. She looked older than he remembered and tired, but she was still the same old Aika. They had the same facial features, dull hair and brown eyes. If he truly were a woman, Kamatari would have looked almost identical to his mother. He had gotten all of his prettiness from her. 

"You…You can't be my son." A perplexed look filled Aika's eyes, "You're a woman."

"No, it's me." He bent to be level with her, his eyes meeting hers, "This is what I'm like; this is the real me."

She trembled slightly and her face paled. "You…You can't get married like that, Child. What will Aoiroten-san say? And Gesshoku, for that matter, I'm sure she's expecting a man to marry her. You were always such an odd child! This explains it!"

"Mother, if my bride doesn't take me as I am, nothing would ever come from the relationship." He decided not to tell her that Gessho was in love with him already and he decided certainly not to tell her that he already knew Gessho. 

"But…But Kamatari, you simply can't do this looking like a woman! I won't allow it." She folded her arms, getting a certain glint in her eyes. She could be very stubborn at times.

"I'm old enough to make choices for myself. I won't marry a girl who won't take me as I am. This is me and I won't change for any one. Why do you think I left home in the first place? I knew you would never approve. I needed to find myself and I couldn't do that here or working at the Aoiroten-onsan, especially not knowing I would see the girl I was someday to marry everyday." 

They glared at one another for a moment, sparks seeming to fly from their eyes. She had learned when he was just a child that he could be as stubborn as she was. "You are impossible, Honjou Kamatari. When you dishonor your father and myself and ruin your one chance at marriage, I won't be held accountable."

"If this will ruin my marriage to Gesshoku-dono, then I would rather not be in that marriage to begin with. You cannot cage a free spirit, Mother. I don't suggest you try." He turned to head down the corridor to his old room, "The wedding will take place as scheduled. If Gesshoku-dono is disgusted by me, I'll leave. If not, then I will fulfill my duties as her husband and take care of her as I promised."

Aika stared after her as he sauntered away. He had become very mature and something about him seemed so sad. The look in his eyes…His fire had gone out. What, she wondered, had happened to him these past ten years to make him this way? Her son was very different than she remembered.

"Oh," He looked over his shoulder, "Tell Aoiroten-san that I would wish Gesshoku-dono to be dressed in purple, green and pink for our wedding." This said, he continued down the hall, leaving his mother to ponder his homecoming. 

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Aniki: _big brother_

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Sakura Butterfly: CHILL OUT! If you don't want Sojiro with some one other than yourself, write your own fic! This is my story, Chibi-Tenken gave me permission to put Sojiro and Harusame in some class of a relationship and that's what I intended. DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Do You Know What I Know?

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One more test…One more test…And it's Western Civ. Ugh.

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Gesshoku stood sullenly in front of a floor-length mirror as the seamstress added pins to the hem of her wedding kimono. It was three days before her wedding and the garment was almost complete. The finishing touches were to be made later that afternoon. It was a dusty pink in color, with purple trim. The obi was a pale, earthy green, tied securely around her waste, the bow in the front. It was very pretty, and very festive, though she doubted any one else realized the significance of the colors.

She hated that kimono.

She fingered the pink silk, letting it slide through her fingers. _Pink; the color of joy. There's no joy in this…None at all. What a Christmas. I look terrible in this thing; so unlike myself. Whoever this man is, he'll be thinking I'm something I'm not. I feel sorry for him already._

I miss Kamatari. I miss him so much…This would be so much more fun if he were here. I can imagine…he would get all excited about trying on clothes. A faint smile graced her lips and she nearly laughed, picturing her friend in her kimono. 

"Turn around, Dear." Her mother's voice came from behind, "Let us see how beautiful you look."

"Mama, please…" She turned slowly, her eyes on the floor. 

Sonomi, Harusame, Nisshoku and Kumori were her audience for this whole kimono fitting. Sojiro was gone to Kyoto on another mysterious errand. Nisshoku was the only one who seemed at ease in the tailor's shop, the two younger girls were leery of the place and the femininity it represented. Kumori was oblivious to everything other than the fact that her daughter was to be married in three days.

"You look stunning. Although…I'm not sure why Aika wanted you in pink, purple and green, but you look wonderful." Her mother chirped, happy that her daughter hadn't put up a fight.

"I don't like it." The girl twisted around again, looking at her reflection once more. She wondered if fate were teasing her; having her mother-in-law want her garments in those particular colors. She had read up on Advent in one of her Western books and the colors meant a lot to her; the purple of waiting, the pink of joy and her favorite, the green. In a Christmas sense, green stood for hope. 

"You do look very nice, Gessho, even if you don't look like yourself." Harusame offered kindly.

"I agree." Sonomi nodded, "The colors are good on you. But you just don't look like…you."

Nisshoku frowned. "That look is all wrong on you, Sister. You should not be in kimonos."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter how I look." Came the dull reply. She knew it didn't matter. Her husband would marry her no matter what, simply because he was obligated to. There would be no love.

The three young women frowned in unison. This was not Gesshoku as they knew her. She was losing a part of herself. That worried them all.

* * * * *  
  
"Kamatari, you have to go see her." A very faint trace of a frown crossed Sojiro's face, "It's been six days and Aoiroten-san has become very withdrawn. She acts like nothing matters any more. She misses you and no one knows what to do."

Kamatari sighed, looking down at the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at his friend, for fear that he would burst into tears. What no one seemed to understand was that the whole thing was just as hard on him as it was on Gessho. "Sou, I can't do that. It will only hurt us both more."

"You care very much about Aoiroten-san. She loves you. You don't want things to ever change. Neither does she. Just marry her already and everything can go back to normal. You're only causing suffering for her and yourself. End it already. Think how happy she'll be."

"I can't…Sojiro, I can't tell her that, just like you can't seem to express your feelings for Harusame."

At this, the young man turned very red. A sheepish smile crossed his face and he stammered out a reply. "Ah, yes, well…That is a little bit different. I care for Harusame-san in a way which you don't care for Aoiroten-san." He scratched the back of his head, "I think I love her, Kamatari."

"Good for you, Sou. I really think she likes you too, but she's rather shy about it. Hence the hatred of mistletoe. She doesn't want any one to know."

"Did…" Sojiro paused, a question on the tip of his tongue. He was dying to know if they had really kissed. He and Sonomi had discussed it thoroughly, and they both would give and arm and a leg to know the truth. "Did she really kiss you, Kamatari?"

"Gessho? Yeah, she did. The day we were leaving." He closed his eyes briefly, remembering her kiss. _Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it…_"It was surprisingly nice." _…You said it! _Mentally, he slapped himself.

"You…enjoyed it?" Sojiro's eyebrows went up. This was new and intriguing. If he liked it, why was he fighting this wedding? Why was he causing so much suffering for Gesshoku? How could he live with himself, knowing that she was hurting because he was a coward?

"A little." Kamatari shifted uncomfortably, wondering why he was even discussing it with the former Tenken. This was none of Sojiro's business; it was all between himself and Gessho. He could feel his throat tightening. Just thinking about her was upsetting. 

"Please, just think about coming to see her. She's terribly lonely, even with us there. You know how Aoiroten-san is. She won't let on that she's so distraught. But she is. The only other time I've ever seen her suffer so much was when you were missing."

"She does try to be brave…But she cries when she thinks people aren't listening. I know how it is since I'm the same way."

"Yes, I know. Learning to live again is difficult, Kamatari. I've seen how you do it…You smile that sad smile and you laugh like it's going out of style. You say you're doing just fine, but on the inside you're dying. You're doing what I did. And it won't help. Just go tell her hello and see how she's doing. It would make her so happy."

"I'll think about it. Now get out of here and don't you go telling her anything, Sou. I have things to do." A faint smile crossed Kamatari's face as he imagined the joy Gessho would express if he went to visit her, "And a lot of things to think about."

"Ganbatte, Kamatari." The boy smiled gently. His friend would need all the luck he could get to survive this. 

* * * * *  
  
"I don't understand why I can't meet my groom before I marry him." Gesshoku looked pointedly at her mother, "I don't even know his name."

"It's tradition, Dear. You won't see him until the wedding. If he hadn't run off, you would know him already. He used to come visit you often when you were a child."

"Is he older than me? What does he look like? Tell me, Mama. I want to know."

"He's seven years older than you are. And I haven't seen him since he was fifteen, so I don't know what he looks like any more. Last I remember, he was a very attractive boy, with light hair that was sort of long. He would come to work here and he'd always visit you. You called him 'big brother' and he called you 'little lady' or 'koishii.' You loved him so back then…"

"Maybe I'll learn to love him again." She said slowly, Kamatari's voice in her mind. _Perhaps you will grow to love him, Darling. Perhaps in time you won't think so badly of him._ Maybe she would grow to love him, after time. She had loved him in the past, after all. But then…She loved Kamatari. She loved him more than anything. This was so confusing…

"That's the spirit, Dear. Try to think positive."

"Did you love Father when you married him?" Gessho asked softly. Her mother had been fooling around with her hair for about an hour, trying to figure out some way to style it. She kept it short -it was easier to manage when she traveled- and not much could be done with it.

Kumori let go of her daughter's short locks. "I didn't love your father. In fact, I hated him. There was a man I was deeply in love with, a man I could not marry."

"Why not?"

"Because I was to marry your father. Hiatari was a wonderful man…He went on to be the father of your groom. He learned to love Aika, much as I learned to love your father. But I hated him when I married him, because he ruined my chance for happiness with Hiatari. This is just the way things are when you come from a well-to-do family, Gesshoku."

"Why isn't Nissho getting married then?" The younger of the twins had been pondering over this for a while. Nisshoku was the older of the two. She should have gotten married first.

"Your father never found a suitable groom for her. She has always been difficult and no one seemed like a good match for her. Your father knew the second you were born that Hiatari's son was perfect for you. He is so like you. I remember how he acted as a child and how you acted as you grew…Your father made a good choice. You two were made for each other."

"But Mama…He's been gone ten years. Who knows what happened to him in that time. He must be very different now."

"This is true. I'm sure he is different." Her mother agreed.

If only they knew how different…

* * * * *

"Where have you been?"

Sojiro blinked his brilliant blue eyes. Harusame was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at him, her hands on her hips. He smiled cheerfully at her, his heart fluttering wildly. "I had an errand to run, Harusame."

"You were gone for a long time!" She frowned deeply, her brown eyes full of something he could not identify. She almost looked…jealous.

"I went all the way to Kyoto. It took a long time."

"What were you doing?" 

"I'm afraid that is no business of yours." He said slowly. In truth, he had done a little shopping after he saw Kamatari and she didn't need to know that he had bought her a present.

"Fine then. Forget I was worried about you." She turned on her heal to move away.

"You were worried about me?" He sounded disbelieving. Why would any one worry about him? He could easily hold his own. He had been the Tenken, after all. With a sword, he was deadly. "Why?"

"Because I was!" She snapped peevishly.

The smallest of frowns crossed Sojiro's face. He had grieved Harusame and that was not what he wanted. "Gomen nasai, Harusame. I didn't mean to upset you. Okamainaku; I'm not worth it."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you…This whole thing with Gessho is stressing me out. I just wanted to have a nice Christmas, now everything is messed up."

"Ah, I'm sure we can still have a nice Christmas."

"I'm worried about Gessho. She tries to be so unconcerned about this, but she hates the idea. She just sits around, staring out the window and missing Kamatari. I hate to see her so sad. It's very un-Gessho-like."

"Hai; I agree. But this won't just go away, no matter how much any of us want it to. But don't fret. Sometimes there are Christmas miracles, after all." 

* * * * * 

Kamatari stood at the end of the road leading to Kobe, his hair whipped in his eyes by the wind. Snow swirled around him, dancing on the air, creating a wonderful Christmas-y atmosphere. Gessho would have loved this weather.

Debating whether or not he wanted to see her was not an option. He _knew_ he wanted to see her. It was only a matter of convincing himself it was the right thing. He thought ahead to future Christmases; Gesshoku happy and cheerful once more. They would be happy together - he was sure of this - but he couldn't seem to convince his mind of what he knew in his heart.

__

I can't do it. I can't. not yet, at least. I need a little more time to think things through. I still have three days…I'll make it up to her. She'll understand.

Koishii, I'm coming for you. Just wait a little longer…

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**YAY! Another chapter done! I'll get to work on the next one soon, so click it and tell me what ya think! ^__^**


	10. Christmas Without You

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Gah…My banana bread got moldy! NO! It was going to be breakfast this morning…*sniffles; sobs; goes back to gnoshing on Chex Mix*

* * * * *  
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Gesshoku wrapped her haori tighter around her shoulders. She was sitting on the front porch, staring up at the gray sky. Things were just so terribly confusing. She was sure she loved Kamatari, but she had also loved this other man at one time. Her mother said she would learn to love him again, but she didn't want to love some one else.

"Why does it have to be this way?" She whispered, "Why me? Why not Nissho? I never once wanted this. I just wanted to wander like I have been for the past four years. I should still be at Harusame's house and we should be putting the finishing touches on our Christmas celebration."

"Gessh?"

She looked up. Nisshoku was standing behind her, looking down at her. "Are you okay, Gesshoku?"

"No, I'm not okay. Do I look okay? I hate this. I hate everything about it. I just want to leave. This has never been home to me. I miss Kamatari. I miss him so much. I can't do this…" The younger twin began to cry.

"Gessh, I know you don't want to do it. But you have to."

"Every one keeps saying that." She choked out, "Every one tells me I _have_ to do this. But nobody ever asks me what I want. I want to be free to do as I please, with Kamatari, and never have to worry about anything more than where I'm going to stay for the night."

"Sometimes, we can't get what we want."

"What do you know? You never understand me. And you never have. I can't believe we're twins. Is it hard to understand that this is something I cannot do? I love Kamatari. He's the only person I will ever love and the only person I would ever want to marry. You don't seem to understand that." 

"I understand. I understand that Father loved you enough to find a groom for you. I understand that he wanted you taken care of and he didn't want to worry about you. He didn't find some one for me. He's always loved you more."

"Nissho…" Gessho looked at her sister. Nisshoku looked terribly sad. Gessho was the only one who ever saw the sensitive side of Nissho; she never even showed any emotion to their mother. "Nisshoku…I'm so sorry. I never wanted any of this and I certainly wish we hadn't been twins, so you would have gotten what you deserved. You were always the more obedient child, the one who listened and did what she was told, even if you were stubborn and unfeeling. I was wild and I never did what Father or Mama said."

A faint smile crossed Nissho's face, her lips curling upward in a very feline fashion. "There was one person you listened to without question. Every time your fiancé came, you would do exactly as he said. I remember…"

"You remember him?" Gessho's watery eyes widened, "Tell me, what is he like? What is his name? I only remember that he was good to me…"

"I don't remember any of that. I only remember how you loved him." Nissho said softly, "You were so happy with him and you cried when he stopped coming to see you. You blocked it all out. You didn't want to remember. We were only eight years old."

"Tell me about it."

"All right…"

* * * * *   
  
_"Gessho-chan, how are you, my darling?"_

"Aniki!" The little girl threw herself into Kamatari's arms, causing the fifteen-year-old boy to smile fondly. He lifted her from the ground, swinging her around, causing her to squeal with delight.

"Do you love me, Darling?"

"Yes!"

"I love you too and I always will. But I have to tell you something very important. I'm going away and I don't know when I'll be back."

"What? You're going away? Why?" Her eyes welled up with tears, her expression becoming one of great distress. "Don't you like me any more?"

"I love you. This has nothing to do with you, Koishii. You wouldn't understand. Just know that I will always love you and I will always think of you, wherever I am."

"No! No, don't go! You can't!" She sobbed, wiping her nose on her sleeve, "I don't want you to…"

"I'm so sorry. I'd stay if I could, but I need to go." He set her back down, his hands on her shoulders, "Listen to me, Aoiroten Gesshoku. I will come back for you someday. I promised that I would always take care of you and I won't break that promise. But I need to go away for a little while so I can learn some things about myself."

"No…" Her eyes brimmed with fresh tears and she slumped to the ground, her hair falling all around her damp face.

"Good-bye, Koishii." He kissed her forehead, "I love you; good-bye."

"Don't go! Don't go…" 

Kamatari suddenly snapped from his reverie and back to the present. How had his mind wandered so; dragging him back to that day? Gesshoku didn't remember. She didn't remember any of it. He was glad of that. He had hated that look in her eyes when he said good-bye. It had come back to haunt him only days before when he parted ways with her in Kyoto.

The feel of her fingers on his cheek; the look in her eyes when her chin rested on his chest; those tears; that taste as her mouth found his for a second time. Then there was that warm rush, his heart pounding madly against his ribs, telling him _it must have been love_. 

And it scared him to death.

"You there, are you listening to me, Boy?" A voice asked roughly.

Kamatari looked up into the stern gaze of his uncle. Nakigoe Yanma was a stern, unforgiving man who seemed to little to no tolerance for his nephew. He thought Kamatari was utterly repulsive, what with his girlish attitude and those clothes…The boy was better off missing in Yanma's eyes.

"Yes, Ojisan?" He turned his velvety eyes away from the man, not able to stand that cold gaze any more.

Yanma frowned deeply, wondering what sort of depraved thoughts went through the mind of a person like Kamatari. He felt sorry for the boy's bride and hoped she wasn't one of those delicate, flowery women who needed pampering like his sister had been. "You're getting married in two days and you expect to do it looking like _that_?" He sneered.

"I already told Mother." The younger man replied stiffly, "If she won't take me as I am, there's no point in even getting married. This is me, Ojisan. This is who I have always been. Gesshoku-dono will have to accept that."

"She'd be better off without a worthless man like yourself. There will be no children, no one to carry on the family name, and think of your poor mother, ashamed of her only son. You were supposed to make her proud."  


"I will do what I have to. If Gesshoku-dono wishes to have children, I will comply." He lowered his head, his hair hiding his face, hiding the blush spreading across his cheeks as he pictured himself curled up with Gessho on a cold winter night. "Just because I don't particularily like it doesn't mean I would deprive my wife of the things she wants. I'll take care of her every need."

"You wouldn't be able to, you're a crazy okama. You're going to ruin her life, you damned idiot. She's going to hate you for all the hell you'll put her through."

Kamatari looked up, his eyes wide, his mouth set in a straight line. His uncle was incredibly cruel to him, with no good cause. Yanma had always been mean to him.

"Leave him alone, Yanma." Aika looked at her son, taking in the distraught expression in his eyes. He always seemed so haunted and sad and he wouldn't tell her why. "You're not his father."

"Neither are you! It's your fault he's like this, Aika." Her brother snarled, "You made him this way; you babied him far too much. He's no man. He's a pathetic little boy."

Aika stood firm, glaring defiantly up at the man. He towered over her, a good foot or so taller than she. He had always pushed the boy too hard, trying to make him into something he was not, and she would no longer stand for it. No matter how much her brother belittled Kamatari, the boy would not be able to change who he was. She had been getting used to her son's oddness and she loved him still, in spite of his peculiarities.

"I told you to leave him alone. Kamatari has come home and he is going to marry Gesshoku. He's a good boy and he respects the wishes of his father, so leave him be."

Kamatari looked at his mother, taking in her worn features. He had never admired her more than he did then, because she was sticking up for him, even if she didn't understand a thing about him. "Arigato, Mother." He said slowly, "But I'm not doing this because of you or Father. I'm doing it because Gesshoku-dono is expecting some one to love and cherish her."

He sighed softly, running his fingers through his short hair. Was that the only reason he was doing this? He was beginning to wonder. He still loved Shishio, but he was beginning to wonder if he didn't love Gesshoku too. He couldn't stop thinking of her; everything reminded him of his odd little friend.

* * * * *

"Do you believe in fate, Nissho?"

Nisshoku looked at her sister, taking in her round cheeks, her haunted eyes behind her glasses, her sad smile spread across her face. "No."

"I do. I believe that all of this is happening for a reason. I met Kamatari and fell in love with him so I would know true love. Even if he cannot love me back, I would gladly give him my soul. He is the love of my life and that will never change. The fates decided to give me love, no matter how brief it was. I will cherish that forever."

"Why do you love him so, Sister? I'm afraid I don't understand."

"He is beautiful to me, some one who transcends the world as we know it. And from the moment I met him, he has always seemed so familiar; so like some one I knew a very long time ago. I felt safe when I was with him, as if he would never let anything happen to me. I know you will never understand this, because you don't know him the way I do. You don't know him at all…" She trailed off, her voice catching in her throat. A few tears slid down her cheeks, which she brushed away, insisting to herself that she needed to be brave.

* * * * *

Harusame peered out the window, taking in the sight of the twins illuminated by lamplight and snow. She couldn't help but wonder what went through Nissho's mind as she helped her mother prepare for her sister's wedding. Was she jealous? Sad? Happy? Did she care at all that her sister was miserable?

"Harusame?"   


She jumped at the sound of Sojiro's voice behind her. Turning to face him, she blushed faintly, embarrassed at having been caught off guard like that. "Yeah?"

His smile seemed to waver for a moment as she met his gaze. What was that? Was he sweating? What could he possibly have to be nervous about? She blinked.

"Do you remember when…" He paused, trying to think of the way to put this. He wanted to tell her he loved her before everything got messed up somehow. They were alone together at the moment, it was just the two of them there in the small room. There wasn't anywhere for her to go. But what would she do? How would she react to his confession?

"Do I remember what?" She asked slowly, still wondering about the look on his face.

"Oh, never mind. I was just thinking of something silly." His goofy grin returned and he looked just as cheerful as always. Love would have to wait for a day he was feeling braver. 

He needed a Christmas miracle of his own.

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**Ugh. I'm getting sick. Blah. Well, at least I go home tomorrow and I have the room to myself tonight. A Christmas Story is on and I'm going to make chicken soup. YUMMY!**

Click it! XD


	11. This Christmas We Get What We Deserve

It was, without a doubt, the worst morning ever. The sky was clouded over and everything seemed gray and dreary. Sonomi rolled over, not ready to get up. There was much to do and she didn't want to do any of it. Kumori had already informed the three girls they would be helping her prepare for her daughter's wedding.

The young woman sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She had cooking to do for Kumori and she wasn't too pleased about it. 

Harusame was still huddled under her blankets, so her *~friend~* shook her awake. "Get up, Harusame. We have work to do."

The other girl groaned. "Five more minutes…It's too early." She mumbled groggily, turning away from Sonomi.

"No, you have to get up now. We have a lot to do for tomorrow and I want everything perfect for Gessho. She is going to have all of her dreams fulfilled, after all."

"I can't believe Kamatari is her fiancé. That is just too wild. She'll be so happy. I want to tell her soooooo bad."

"Well, don't. Kamatari, for whatever reasons, doesn't want her to know. And he's the one who needs to tell her."

"I hope he doesn't chicken out. She'll be devastated if he doesn't show."

"I think she'll cry just as much even if he does show. She loves him so much. She'll be angry with him for a little while because he didn't tell her, but then she'll be too happy to care. She's going to be so excited!"

"I'm excited." A huge grin spread across Harusame's face. "I'm glad that somebody here will get what they want at least."

"Don't worry…" Sonomi smiled slyly, "I'm sure things will work out for everybody in the end." She knew that Harusame had her heart set on Sojiro, but she was so damn shy about it. The former Tenken was just as bad. He skirted around the subject; avoiding it every time it came up or not finishing when he tried to confess.

Harusame looked at her suspiciously. What did she know? Something was up…

"Well, let's get to work, shall we?" Sonomi rose to her feet, stretching. "So much to do."

"Right." Harusame nodded.

* * * * *  
  
Gesshoku slipped silently out the door and headed for the springs. She was so worried about what the following day would bring and she wanted to do nothing more than soak in one of the hot springs. She padded down the path, a towel slung over her shoulder, shivering against the chill of the December air. Snow littered the ground and it looked like more would come soon.

A puff of steam greeted her as she opened the door to her mother's favorite (and private) spring. She stepped inside, a lot on her mind, and closed the door. Standing at the edge of the spring, she slid off her yukata. Then she pulled it back up quickly.

Some one else was there.

"Come out." She said simply. Four years of traveling on her own had taught her how to sense the presence of others. "Come on; I know you're there."

The steam of the bath created a thick fog in the room; a swirling mist which cloaked everything around her. She peered through the haze, trying to find the person who was skulking around the small chamber. 

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her from behind, causing her to scream in terror. She thrashed around, trying to free herself from her captor's grasp. "Let me go! Let me GO!"

"Darling, shush…It's me!"

"KAMATARI!" She whirled around, coming face to face with the man. In no time, her arms were around him, her head on his shoulder and she was squealing with glee. "You came back to see me!"

"Of course I came back. I can't stay long, but I had to see you." He hugged her tightly, his head against hers.

"I missed you so much." She sniffled, "I missed you more than any one can understand." Her eyes welled up with tears and she was soon sobbing into his shoulder.

"Don't cry." He said softly, "I'm here now. I missed you too. I missed you a lot, Darling. I wish I could stay. I just wanted to see how you were doing and make sure you were okay."

"I'm not okay." She sobbed, "Every one keeps telling me I have to do this, but I can't. I can't do this; I love you too much. I just want to run away…"

"Why don't you?"

"I can't. Mama expects me to do this. Father went through so much trouble to arrange it and he never bothered to find a groom for Nissho. I can't back out. My parents thought this would be best for me."

"But is it best for you?"

"In the end, I suppose it is. No one would ever willingly marry a girl like me."

"No one would ever marry a girl like me either." He said casually, causing her to laugh.

"I would marry you. Give me five or six years, and I'll be ready."

"I'm afraid you only have a day to get ready."

She was silent for a moment, drawing back to meet his gaze. Their eyes burned together and his heart began to pound. Then she laid her head back on his shoulder. "What if he doesn't like me?"

"He'll like you." A real smile crossed the man's face, "How could any one not?"

"I'm too loud."

"You're…exuberant."

"I'm lazy."

"Who isn't?"

"I'm-"

"Stop putting yourself down, Darling. If he doesn't like you as you are, there's no point in even caring what he thinks. You should never have to change who you are for some one else."

"I love you."

"I know." He brushed his fingers across her cheek, "Now you be good and make me proud tomorrow."

"I'll try…"

"I'll come back and see you again real soon." He kissed her on the forehead, "I promise."

"Don't go…" She wrapped her arms tighter around him, "Please, don't go again. I need you. You understand me." If he left her again, she would be devastated. She couldn't stand it, not knowing where he was or what he was doing. She had been worried sick. Was he okay? Was he warm and safe? Did he have enough to eat? Was he happy? Sad? Lonely? He couldn't leave her again.

"We've been together for a year and I know you don't like to be alone. But we both need some time away from one another for a while. You need to think about life with your new husband and I need to figure out what to do with my life next."

"But…But I love you. I don't want to be with any one else. If I could have anything for Christmas -anything at all- all I would want is for things to stay as they are. I don't care about presents, or the tree or any of that. All I want is to be an urôroni and to wander around with you."

"Sometimes, we can't always get what we want, Darling. Sometimes we have to do things we never intended to do. Sometimes we have to let go." His hand ran across her cheek, brushing away the tears. A sudden urge to kiss her washed over him, but he fought it, telling himself it wasn't the right thing. "Sometimes, the things hardest for us are the most important ones we could ever do."

"I'm not ready yet." She whispered, burying her face in his chest. "I'm not ready to let go."

"You have to. It's time to move on."

"I'm not ready…" She dissolved into tears as he pulled away from her, "By all that is good and holy, I'm not ready. Why can't I be selfish and get my Christmas wish? Why, Kamatari? Why…?"

"I'm so sorry, Darling. I'd stay if I could, but I need to go." His heart was heavy and tears tickled his eyes. One of her hands clutched his and she looked up, her eyes wide, her face streaked with tears. "I need to go away. There's still something I need to learn about myself."

"No…" Her head bowed; both of their actions a whisper of the past. Her short hair framed her face, hiding it from his view, but he knew she was still crying.

"Good bye." He tilted her face back up, this time kissing her softly on the lips, "I love you, Gesshoku. Good bye."

And she could only sit there and stare, tears pouring from her eyes.

* * * * *

"Where's your sister?" 

Nisshoku looked up from her book. Her mother was speaking to her and she had ignored her, which was not uncommon. She disliked the way their mother went about doing things. There was a bond between herself and her twin; a bond no one could understand, not even she herself. Gesshoku was suffering more than any one would ever understand. Nissho could see it in the far-off look in her sister's eyes. "Perhaps she went to use your favorite spring?" She suggested lightly, "She has been rather tense lately."

"Don't you use that tone with me, young lady." Kumori looked sharply at her elder daughter, "I suppose asking you to find her would be far too much work. You just go back to your book and never mind that there's a wedding tomorrow."

She slammed the book shut, springing to her feet. "Mother, don't you care how much Gesshoku is suffering? Don't you understand? She is in love with some one else. And you…You're forcing her to do this! You're making her miserable!"

Kumori's eyebrows went up and she looked at Nisshoku. The twins had never been particularly close, but they had always looked out for one another, always taken good care of one another. "Your father-"

"Don't give me that, Mother! You're lucky that Gesshoku didn't leave. You're lucky she gave up her one chance at happiness for this. You've always been so cold and heartless. Bitter over the love you felt for that man you couldn't marry. Maybe Gesshoku's crazy okama would never marry her. Maybe he would never even love her as she loves him, but, Mother, she was _happy_. And you took that away from her." Nisshoku's brown eyes were dark with accusation, "You made her into you."

This said, the older twin turned sharply on her heal and marched from the room, book in hand. She had every intention to go find her sister and tell her to leave. She wanted Gessho to follow her heart wherever it may lead, so that at least one of them would be happy. But then, catching sight of a figure leaving their mother's favorite spring, she paused, a smile curling upwards on her lips. _I'll be damned…_

Kamatari…

* * * * * 

Kamatari wiped his eyes, brushing away the tears which clung to his eyelashes. _Why? Why did I do that? Why did I have to go and do that? I made us both cry…_

But I had to see her. I had to see her one last time before I go away. Koishii…My Koishii. The faintest of smiles crossed his face, _I love her so. I loved her when I was an innocent child; before my world turned over. I loved her as a teenager, when I was beginning to discover things about myself which no one would ever approve of. And I loved her when we were together. I loved the way she would tackle me in those hugs, the way she looked up at me, her eyes wide and sparkling with joy. But most of all, I loved how she accepted me as I am. She knew what I was and she loved me anyway; she didn't question me. She truly loves me unconditionally._

He looked up at the graying sky, taking in the gathering clouds. It was going to snow again and that pleased him. He wanted the world to be beautifully white when he made all of Gesshoku's wishes come true the following day.

Yes; Kamatari intended to marrying Gessho the following day. So why had he said good bye as if he would never see her again? Because, in a sense, he wouldn't be seeing her again. He was going to make her happy tomorrow and neither of them would ever be the same. They would meet on Christmas Eve as strangers.

* * * * *  
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**I'm at home! At home, I say! And here I will be for a MONTH!**


	12. Christmas Eve Will Find Me

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I am going to have so much fun writing these upcoming scenes. And Daddy and I are watching George C Scott's A Christmas Carol. There's popcorn to be made, Peter's friends are here…How I love the holidays!! XD

* * * * *  
* * * * *  
* * * * *

It was a beautiful morning in Kobe.

* * * * *

Gesshoku awoke Christmas Eve morning feeling as if there were a block of ice setting on her heart. She dreaded getting out of bed, dreaded going through the motions of the day. She would forever be asleep, lost in that place between dream and awake; that place where she could be happy with the fond memories of her beloved friend. 

She had no desire to face the day.

But get up she must and get up she did, dragging herself from the mound of blankets and over to the wash basin. What a horrid, painful, emotional day it would be.

* * * * *

Sonomi and Harusame woke to the sun glaring down at them. They were a heap of arms and legs; the two friends had snuggled together to sleep in order to keep themselves warmer. Kumori was not so giving with her comforters and blankets as she was with her assignments of chores.

Harusame rose, looking out the window. Everything had been frosted white and the sun shown off the new-fallen snow like a million diamonds. "Ooo…" She breathed, "It looks so beautiful."

"Stunning." She was joined at the window by Sonomi, who blinked, rubbing her eyes against the strong light. "Gessho is going to have a beautiful wedding."

"I'm jealous…" The younger girl sighed, her thoughts drifting to a certain dark-haired rurôni. 

Sonomi just smiled, wondering what sort of other surprises the day had in store for them.

* * * * *

Kumori stretched, relaxing in her feather bed. The day had almost begun and she was already wishing it were over. There was so much work to do still; so many preparations to make. And her daughters had better not mess it up anyhow or there would be hell to pay. 

Rising, stretching, fastening her yukata tighter around her waist, she glided over to the window. Sunlight bounced off a coating of freshly fallen snow, glittering, shimmering, giving the morning a fresh, crisp look.

Beautiful weather for a wedding.

* * * * * 

Nisshoku lay in her bed, her eyes shut tight, wondering what was to become of her once her sister was married and gone for good. Home had never really been home for either of the twins since their father had died. He had made their lives fun and exciting. Mother did not see it that way. Mother believed life was hard and cruel. 

Mother was bitter because she was forbidden to be with Hiatari. 

The elder twin rolled over, running a hand through her long hair. This was all very unfair; to herself, to her sister, to their mother. She would lose the one friend she ever had. Her sister would lose the love of her life. And their mother…She would be disappointed for a second time; for she could not live her dreams through her wayward daughters.

Then there were the friends of Gesshoku to take into account. Mother had ruined their Christmas. They had all been so happy, preparing for that extravagant Western holiday. Sonomi seemed hostile and uptight, as opposed to the relaxed, carefree being she had been for a split second when Nisshoku first brought news of the wedding to the Natsustuki household. Sojiro was suspicious and wary of everything; it could be seen in his eyes, even if his smiles drew one away from his true feelings. And Harusame…She was terribly angry and had no problem voicing her every opinion.

There was also Kamatari to take into consideration. This had affected him greatly as well. He hadn't been able to travel to Kobe with them, or so he'd said, but he had come back to see Gesshoku. There was little doubt in Nissho's mind that he cared greatly for her sister. He was a very confused, lost man. His heart wandered even more than her own.

She sighed. This would be an interesting day.

* * * * *

And Sojiro? 

He had been up all night, wondering how everything would turn out; a nervous wreck over how he would confess his feelings for Harusame. He cared for her greatly and hoped to every conceivable god that she felt the same way for him. If she laughed at him, if she were appalled by him, his heart would break. He had not cared so for another person since…he hadn't ever that he could remember.

He knew there would be a happy ending for Gesshoku and Kamatari. His comrade and the young woman would live a pleasant life together, traveling, being themselves, living as if nothing had ever changed between them. Perhaps they would even have a child; Sojiro smiled at this thought. He pictured a tiny version of Kamatari -a little girl of course- running joyously through life, kimono flapping about her ankles.

His laugh rang out in the chill morning air. Kamatari with a child was an interesting thought. Gesshoku-san and Kamatari would be wonderful parents; they would value any child they had more than their own lives, of this he was certain. But they would be so happy together…

This thought sobered the young man and he sighed, gazing up at the clear blue sky. Would things ever work out for himself and the object of his affections? Could he have a happy ending with Harusame? Where was his miracle, so that he would be brave enough to tell the truth?

Life was so complicated with no one there to give him easy answers.

* * * * *  
  
Equally beautiful was the morning in Kyoto. 

Kamatari woke feeling somewhat refreshed. He accepted the fact that he was to be married to Gesshoku. He wasn't even that against the idea; he loved her dearly. The way she had felt in his arms the previous morning had given him shivers; he could no longer deny the romantic attachment he had for her. It had formed, beginning in his heart and slowly spreading its way throughout his body, and he hadn't even known it existed until he saw her in tears that morning in the hot spring.

It had caused his fragile heart to ache. 

When one has a heart of glass which has been beaten, abused and crushed throughout one's life, all it takes is the slightest touch and that heart is shattered into a million shards. Those pieces can be mended once more, depending on who finds their owner after the breaking. Or they could remain there, in a pile, until the heart mends itself and becomes hardened to every emotion. 

Kamatari's heart had been broken by Shishio.

It was being lovingly restored by Gesshoku.

Having come to that realization to preceding evening, he felt somewhat happier. He was still scared to death of what would come in the later portion of the day, but he was no longer trying to run from her. Gesshoku was the best friend he had, the only person (not counting Shishio-sama, of course) he could see himself with, the one he had grown used to living with. He wasn't going to run any more. He was going to take her in his arms and kiss her, tell her he loved her and he was glad their fathers were so old fashioned.

He looked out the window, taking in the brilliant morning sun. Its rays beamed through the glass, warming his face, thawing his carefully guarded heart. He felt free; unrestricted. Gessho would ask nothing of him. She would not belittle him like his uncle Yanma. She would not baby him like his mother. She would not use him like his beloved Shishio-sama. Yes, he knew Shishio knew nothing and cared nothing about him. He had loved the man regardless; love was not something one could control.

"Kamatari-kun?" He heard his mother's voice drift down the hall.

"Yes, Mother?" He answered her promptly, poking his head out the door.

"Are you ready? We have a lot to do today."

"I'm getting dressed." He smiled softly, "I'll be down for breakfast soon."

"Take your time, Dear. It's going to be a big day for you."  
  
"Thank you, Mother." He waited until she had disappeared again, then padded down the hall, up the stairs and into the room they used for storage. A wooden chest was in there, hidden away among their other unused things. The chest hadn't been opened in years and the lid creaked as he removed it, dust showering to the floor. A slight trace of a smile crossed his face as he gingerly lifted a worn, but still fine garment from the trunk.

__

Father, I'll make you proud that I am your son. The green silk ran like water through his fingers. Green. Gesshoku said it was the color of hope at Christmastime. Hope was something they both had; one trait the two shared. As long as she had lived, there had been the hope that -someday- he would love her. And for him, the very same hope. Hope that the world wouldn't look so badly upon him. 

He slid the silk gi on, pulling it over the yukata he had worn to bed. It was a little big on him -his father was of a larger build- but the muted green suited his skin tone well. He would look simply gorgeous in it. 

Squealing with glee, he removed a pair of hakama which went with the gi. They were a plum purple in color, nicely complimenting the green. He and his young bride would match wonderfully. That thrilled him to no end. He was glad he had been thoughtful enough to suggest the colors of her wedding kimono; there was no doubt in his mind she would look stunning in that kimono, and besides, there had been special meaning behind those colors.

"Kamatari!" 

"Coming, Mother!" He hurried back to his room, where he quickly changed into his father's clothes, then bounded down the stairs to greet her. She was seated at the Chabudai, eating her breakfast. He acknowledged her respectfully, bowing slightly, his hair falling around his pretty face.

"Are you- My word…!" She looked up, her eyes widening at the sight of her only child dressed in the clothing of the gender nature intended of him. "Kamatari…You…Your clothes…"

"Are you pleased, Mother?" He couldn't help but grin as he took in the surprise on her face. Her mother was beautiful when she smiled; he could easily see where his own fine features came from.

"You…You look like a man." She stammered, "You're so handsome."

He sank to his knees beside her, the fabric swishing between his legs, making him feel slightly uncomfortable. He hugged her gently, feeling for the first time in many years the love a child usually felt for its mother. "I love you, Mama." He kissed her cheek, "I want to make you and Father proud of me."

"I would be proud of you, no matter what." She smiled faintly, "You are the only child I have and you always will be."

A little bit of the light went out in his eyes. If only his poor mother knew…He had killed people. He was in love with a man. He had tried to destroy the government that was drawing the world away from the old-fashioned era of his and Gesshoku's parents. It would grieve her to know the truth about him. That is why he kept the past ten years hidden from her. That is why whenever she questioned him about his time apart from her; he silenced her with only those haunted eyes. 

"Arigato, Mama."

"Whatever you did, whoever you were, I forgive you." She stroked his back, holding him close, "I know you don't want to do this, Darling, and it must be very hard for you, being the way you are. But I'm glad you think enough of your father to honor his wishes."

He simply nodded, not wishing to explain again that the reasons he was going through with this had nothing to do with his father. Let Aika believe what she would; she would never understand anyway. His mind was far more complicated than he ever let on; every one believed he was nothing more than a carefree transvestite. There was a depth to him that could not be understood by the normal person; a deepness which came out only when one took the time to know the real Kamatari.

His mother had no clue who he was.

He patted her on the cheek, rising from his sitting position. "I have a few things to take care of. I'll see you later on."

"Where are you going?" She looked up, her dark gaze following his every move. She had noticed how her son seemed to glide rather than walk, his hips swaying slightly; every footfall was a lilting, rhythmic movement. He had an untamed, natural beauty and there was no controlling a spirit like his. When had he grown up to be like that? She had lost him and she never even had him. 

"Don't fret, Mother. I'll be back in plenty of time. I just have a few stops to make first. I would not want to disappoint Gesshoku-dono from the start. I would do nothing to spoil our wedding." He smiled over his shoulder at her, then sashayed out the door.

Aika sat there for a moment, staring into her teacup. From the second her Kamatari had walked through that door and revealed himself to no longer be _her_ Kamatari, she had been apprehensive about this whole thing. He kept telling her not to worry; that he would make Gesshoku very happy, but she couldn't help be frightened of what the day would bring for her unique child.

* * * * *  
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**Well, lookie that. I'm almost done with the fic. I'm up to Christmas Eve morning…the next chapter will be the wedding. The chapter after that, I'm afraid, will be the final one. **

Off to see LOTR: Return of the King later today. I'm sooooooooo excited!!! *dances*


	13. All I Want For Christmas Is You

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AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! RoTK WAS GREAT!!!!! We had soooooo much fun! And I get to see it again with Nellie and Cheese! Woot! Twin'd be proud of me. Hey, Twin, do you remember the taste of strawberries…?

* * * * *  
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* * * * *

Gesshoku paced back and forth, the hated kimono rustling around her ankles as she marched. Nisshoku and Sonomi were watching her nervously. Harusame was staring out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of the groom as he arrived. It was an hour until the appointed time of the wedding and the four girls had been gathered together in silence for quite some time.

The bride hadn't said a word to any one since lunchtime. She had picked at her food, staring down into the bowl, her eyes full of pain and worry. Now she was silent because her stomach was doing back-flips, turning over and over within her, and she feared if she opened her mouth she would lose her lunch. 

Her friends and her sister were silent solely because they knew not what to say.

She sighed, turning on her heal again. She wanted nothing more than Kamatari to come along and take her away. She longed to be in his arms, to have him hold her close and tell her it would all be okay. He had been keeping things from her, but she still loved him unceasingly; he would forever be in her heart. He had kissed her the previous day, his lips closing fully over hers, soft, loving, gentle. It made her love him all the more.

"Gessho?" Harusame looked over her shoulder at the pacing bride-to-be. 

"What?" The young woman snapped, turning to face her youngest companion.

"I was just…wondering if you want anything." Harusame bit her lip, wondering if she should have kept quiet. The silence in the room, save for the gentle _swish swish _of Gesshoku's kimono as she walked, was driving her insane.

__

You couldn't give me the only thing I want…She thought. _All I want is Kamatari here with me. All I want is everything to go back to the way it was. All I want is happiness. _"No, thank you, Harusame." She said stiffly, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Her twin commented dryly, "You look like a nervous wreck." Nisshoku was sitting on a cushion, twining her long hair around her finger. The twins had been closer these past few days, having reached an understanding, and Nissho could see through her sister's lies.

"I am a nervous wreck." She growled savagely, "I'm going to be married to a man I haven't seen in ten years. I know nothing about him; not even his name. I'll never see my best friend again, I'm going to live somewhere I've never been and everything is going to be so different." Her eyes welled up with tears, which she brushed away with the back of her hand.

Sonomi's gaze flickered from one sister to the other. She hated seeing things this way and wished that this dreadful day would just pass so they could all go back to being happy. Dark thoughts clouded her mind -what would they do if Kamatari chickened out and decided not to show?- but they were soon replaced by a smile as her anticipation of Gesshoku's joy returned.

"Things will only be different if you allow them to." Nissho said wisely, "You've got to hold on to the way things are and never let them go. You've got to be strong."

"Strong like you are? Strong, that I hide everything behind a dead-pan expression? Strong, that I never tell the people I love most that I care about them? Strong, so that I isolate myself from the world and I'm forever lonely and I have no one to comfort me when things get bad? I'd rather not be strong, if that were the case." She had stopped walking and was looking down at her sibling, her short hair creating a curtain around her face, hiding it from the other two girls.

"Gesshoku…" Harusame said quietly, "You are strong. Look what you're about to do. You don't want to, but you are anyway. You're so brave."

Silence fell over the four and Gessho resumed pacing. Nothing would make her feel better about this. She had been trying to remember the boy who came to see her when she was a child, but every time she tried to conjure an image of him, she saw Kamatari's face. She could easily picture him as the one she loved so as a child, though she knew that was next to impossible. But there was still that one-in-a-million chance…

"Gesshoku! Nisshoku! Girls, come down here!" Their mother's voice drifted up to Gessho's room, where they had been held up for the past hour. 

"Coming, Mother!" Nissho replied, her voice void of any and all emotions once again. She rose from her seat, stretching her arms over her head. She, as her sister's attendant, was wearing a green kimono. Harusame had a matching one, in purple, and Sonomi's was pink. She looked over her shoulder at her sister, "This is it, Gessh."

Gesshoku nodded, her throat drying and constricting. This was the end of her life as she knew it; she wanted to run away, but her sister was in front of her, the other two girls behind her. 

There was nowhere to run to.

* * * * *

Kamatari paced nervously. He was waiting in the front room of the Aoiroten estate, waiting for Aoiroten-san to show him to the small shrine near the springs where the wedding would take place. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of his soon-to-be wife and he wondered where she was being kept. 

"Honjou-san?"

He looked up at the sound of Kumori's voice. She had appeared at the foot of the stairs, dressed in a cerulean blue kimono, made from the finest silk, which was an odd contrast to her pale skin and dark hair. She looked very pretty; like a viper poised to attack. 

"Good evening, Aoiroten-san." He bowed stiffly, greeting her in the way he had been taught to. 

She scrutinized him, trying to find in him the little boy she fondly remembered. Kamatari had grown; he towered over her by at least a foot, and he had become slim and slight. He bore a strong resemblance to Aika -how Kumori _hated _that woman- with dull hair and light eyes. There was something almost _feminine_ about his face, as if he were a woman masquerading as a man. He was clean and neatly dressed in purple and green silk, his longish hair combed back from his sweet face.

There was no trace of Hiatari in him anywhere. 

This was something of a relief. Hiatari had been dead for many years and Kumori wasn't sure she could handle having a son-in-law who looked like her true love. She nodded in acknowledgement to his greeting, then turned to lead him from the entry way. "It will be a little while before we begin. I suggest you stroll the grounds and reacquaint yourself with the property. It will someday be yours, after all."

He bobbed his head in agreement. He really had no need to do that; the Aoiroten-onsan was etched finely into his memory. He knew every step, every twist and turn of the garden paths, every pebble along the ground. It was the same as he remembered, as if time had ceased only within the springs and allowed everything else around it to age.

She dismissed him and he bowed a second time, then showed himself out the door to the garden path which led to the springs. He had walked that path a thousand times; the most recent one being only yesterday. His footsteps fell on frosted ground, fresh snow crunching beneath his feet. Five other sets of footprints littered the ground, but he knew exactly which ones belonged to his bride. Gesshoku had busted her knee open at age seven -he distinctly recalled her screams and cries; her sobbing as it subsided; how he comforted her and cleaned the wound- and it left her with a perpetual irregularity, although barely noticeable, in her gait.

He smiled at the memory, remembering how she had trusted him; how she had loved him. Her gleeful, childish voice echoed through his mind, confessing her devotion, calling him big brother. And then, only recently, when she had told him 'I'm not ready to let go…' Her voice was an echo on the breeze. _You won't have to let go, Koishii…_

* * * * *  
  
Gesshoku's foot tapped nervously against the floor, her geta making a loud clunking sound. It echoed through the silent room, booming, drowning them all in its deafening noise. The young woman felt like she was suffocating in nothingness; as if she couldn't breathe. The room was closing in on her; that incessant tapping growing louder, consuming her; she was unaware that it came from her own foot. 

Everything became louder and louder, memories seeping through her mind like moving photographs. Herself, laughing. Herself, a child, in the arms of a strange young man -her groom- a man who held no memory in her mind. He was hugging her, speaking to her, calling her "Koishii," telling her he loved her. Herself, with Kamatari. Happy. Joyous. 

Free. 

"I can't do this!" She tore from the room, leaving the other three girls and Sojiro staring wide-eyed after her.

She ran down the snowy path, holding her kimono high from the ground, almost tripping over the clunky geta that she wasn't used to wearing. Tears poured down her face as she fled the small shrine; she wasn't going to get married. She couldn't get married. It didn't matter if she would disgrace her family's name by running away. If it meant she could no longer be free, she wouldn't do it. 

If it meant she couldn't see Kamatari…

Blindly, she ran. She had to get out of there. She had to get away. There was no way she could stay there another minute, haunting memories teasing her and wrapping their long, scraggly fingers around her throat, choking her, killing her slowly. She was afraid of what the past would do to the future and the present and she was running away. 

She was a true coward.

__

I won't. I won't; I won't; I won't…I won't get married to some one I don't love. I won't deny myself the love I will never even receive. I was happy with Kamatari, even if he doesn't love me. Even if-

Her train of thought was suddenly derailed as she ran head-on into some one going in the opposite direction. 

She stumbled to the ground, losing one of her wooden sandals in the process. She was sobbing, her face buried in her hands, rocking back and forth as she mumbled over and over again "I can't. I can't. I can't…"

She felt a strong hand under her arm; some one was lifting her to her feet. Sniffling, she fought back her emotions, the sight of setta, tabi and deep purple hakama obscured by her tears. Her face tilted upwards, traveling, searching for the face of her rescuer. Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she blinked, her gaze resting on the man's face, but still not registering it clearly. She blinked a second time.

Then a thought occurred to her.

"Where are my glasses?" She pulled from his grasp, her fingers clawing at the ground, searching desperately for the missing eyewear. She needed those; she couldn't see without them. "I need them…Where are they?" She fumbled around, her fingers growing stiff from the cold.

"Koishii…Why are you running away?"

She froze at the sound of his voice. Her head inclined back up. "K-Kamatari?" She whispered. Could it be? What was he doing there?

"Where are you going, Darling? Why are you running?" His delicate fingers brushed across her cheek, freezing cold, wiping away the tears. Then he drew her into his arms, her face pressed against the front of his father's clothing, her tears making dark spots in the silk. "You're supposed to be getting married."

"I don't want to…I can't do this. I can't; not if it means losing you." She sobbed, "I don't care if Mama disowns me. I just want things to be as they were two weeks ago."

"Things won't ever be like they were two weeks ago." He buried his face in her hair, hugging her tightly, enjoying the feel of her as he comforted her. How he had missed her in those ten years. The memories had fought their way back out after so long. Love. Love was just a word; just an expression people who where unsure of themselves made up. "Nothing will ever be the same. But then again, it will."

"I don't understand…" Her voice was muffled by the silk, "What are you doing here?"

"I made you a promise eighteen years ago. 'I'll take good care of you, Aka-chan. I promise.' I told you that when I was only a child. And I don't break my promises." His mouth was moving downward, her face tipped up; his hands found their way into hers. His heart was pounding -he was nervous- and his throat dry, but he _was _a man, he loved her and he wanted her.

"You promised me that?" She whispered, her voice wavering, her heart fluttering wildly within her chest. This was it, the moment of truth. More tears filled her eyes; happy ones; hopeful ones.

"I did."

"Why? When?" 

"No one told you, Darling?" He smiled lightly, laughter rising from his slender throat, "Our fathers decided we would wed when you were only a baby."

"You mean…Seriously? You're…? Why didn't you tell me?" She pounded her fist against his chest, suddenly angry, "Why did you let me go through all of that? Why didn't you rescue me sooner? Why didn't you take me away? Is this some sort of sick joke? I hate you so much! Why!? Why…?" She slumped against him, tears streaking down her face and leaving cold trails across her cheeks.

"…" He took a deep breath, hugging her, loving her silently; trying to tell her everything she wanted to hear without saying a word. Then, at last, he spoke. "…I was afraid. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid I wouldn't go through with it. I didn't want you to get your hopes up, only to have them crushed when I ran away."

__

When I ran away…She trembled at his touch, swallowing; trying to fight back the tears which threatened to come unbidden. "You were going to leave me." She accused, "You said goodbye. Don't you care?"

"I care…That's why I didn't say anything. It would have hurt you more if I told you and then didn't come and I didn't want to hurt you at all. I only want you to be happy. I hate to see you hurt."

"Why did you say goodbye? Why? You didn't go away…Why did you make it sound like we would never see one another again?" She didn't understand at all. She was angry; confused; frightened. She still couldn't see him clearly, but her vision was clouded as much by tears as her already poor eyesight.

He stooped to retrieve her missing glasses, handing them to her. "Look at me, Gessho. Do I look anything like the person who said goodbye to you yesterday?"

She shoved the frames up her nose, peering through the lenses as they fogged up. "What the hell are you wearing?" He was dressed…Green and purple…He looked like a man. She felt her knees tremble; she must have been dreaming. What on earth was going on?

"My father wore this to marry my mother. He always said he wanted me to wear it when I got married to you. Do you like it?" 

"You…You don't look anything like yourself." She said slowly, "You look…the way you did when I was little. I remember…it was you. You were my big brother. You looked out for me. I loved you when I was a child; that's why I fell in love with you the second I saw you. Loving you was so easy, because I already knew everything about you. I already knew…" Her anger was melting away as reality sunk in. She was supposed to be marrying the person she loved more than any one in the world. She had wanted a Christmas miracle. 

And she got one.

She flew back into his arms, hugging him, laughing, crying tears of joy. "I love you. I love you so much!"

"I know." He smiled, his arms around her, twirling her in the snow which had begun to fall. Their eyes met and he could see that cheerful sparkle in her eyes. "I love you too, Koishii. Now come on, let's get this over with and get on with our lives."

"All right." 

He set her back down on the ground and took her hand in his; leading her back in the direction she had just come. Her heart was still pounding, but she felt calmer; happier. This wouldn't be so bad after all. In fact, she was quite pleased by it. She squeezed his hand, reassuring him to the fact that this would not change them, and he looked over his shoulder, smiling at her. 

Everything would be okay.

* * * * *

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Gesshoku looked expectantly up at Kamatari, her eyes shinning with happiness. He hesitated. It wasn't the first time he was to kiss her -he had been exploring his sexuality all those times- but it was the first time he would openly kiss her. He leaned forward, their eyes meeting, hearts pounding; oh, it was heaven, sugar plums and gingerbread; Merry Christmas; I love you; some things never change.

Nisshoku smiled, twining a strand of hair around her finger. Her sister had to be the happiest person on the face of the earth. That made her happy. Gessho had always been flighty and uncertain; that was the reason behind her aimless wandering. But now…The urôroni wandered no more.

Sonomi was satisfied. One problem solved; they had pulled it off. Gessho looked thrilled. Kamatari looked happy. Two of her good *~friends~* were married and everything was as it should be.

Sojiro was smiling, of course. But he was really scared to death. He wanted to make his move then, when it was snowing out, the mood was perfect, and Harusame was right next to him. He leaned over, feeling brave and daring, and kissed her on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Harusame."

Her face flushed red; she looked up. No mistletoe. She looked back at Sojiro. He was smiling sincerely, she could see it in his eyes, and his face was pink. A smile spread across her face and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Merry Christmas to you too, Sou."

Aika and Kumori nodded to one another, satisfied with the turn-out of the night's events. Both mothers had been somewhat shocked when Kamatari had come into the shrine, leading Gesshoku behind him, and the bride's face had been red and wet. They both wondered at this -what had happened between the time when Aika dismissed Kamatari and Gessho tried to run away?- but their children were smiling and Gessho was wiping away the remnants of her tears. 

Kumori was satisfied because she saw the young couple whispering before the ceremony began. Their faces close -they were nose to nose- their eyes locked together; he had kissed her on the cheek. 

They were happy. 

Aika was satisfied because Gesshoku seemed to care deeply for her son. They had held hands the whole time, lost in one another, as if the rest of the world was no concern to them. But then, how was she to know?

They were in love.

Kamatari and Gessho broke away from one another. He had his hands on her shoulders, his head rested against her forehead. "Ai shiteru, Koishii." He pushed back her hair, kissing her cheek, "You love me as I am; as a man or a woman, a failure or a success. And I love you as well. I'm going to make you happy."

"Kamatari, I am happy." She smiled, reaching up to hug him, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

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**Booya! Dad's getting a router for our internet, so that means I'll be able to hook the laptop to the internet when I'm home! YAYNESS!!!**


	14. If Every Day Was Like Christmas

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WOO! It was even better the second time. Can't wait to see it again with Twin. XD Some of the Sam-Gollum-Frodo scenes were sooooo me, Evil and Twin (since we are Sam, Gollum and Frodo). Evil and I have such a strange relationship…

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"Wake up! Wake up, it's Christmas!"

Gesshoku rolled over, trying to block out Harusame's excited voice. She had no clue what time it was, it was still dark out, and she was exhausted. She opened her mouth to tell Harusame to go away, but was silenced by a pair of arms circling around her. 

"Shhh…Don't spoil it, Gessh." Kamatari mumbled, pulling her back beside him.

"All right." She settled back into his embrace, her head under his chin.

The marriage had not been consummated the previous night; neither of them was sure if it ever would be. Gessho was only eighteen, still a virgin, and quite terrified at the thought of _that,_ while Kamatari wasn't quite sure enough in his sexuality to want _that_ from her. They had shared a bed before and were quite comfortable in simply sleeping together.

Then she pulled back out of his arms, running to the window. The sun was just cresting over the horizon and it glittered over the fresh coating of snow. The sky was a brilliant blue, not a cloud in sight, and everything was perfect.

She scampered back over to her new husband, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him up. "Come on; come look. It really is Christmas!" She exclaimed breathlessly.

He trailed behind her as she led him to the window, showing him the beautiful frosted expanse that was the Aoiroten-onsan. The springs were a frosted wonderland, steam rising up from the buildings. The landscape was gorgeous.

"What do we do now, Kamatari?" She asked quietly, "We're married now. I'm your wife. What do we do?"

"We do whatever you want."

She looked back at him when she felt his arm slide around her shoulder. She felt so safe with him. He had taken care of her since she was small. All those memories were of him and her, alone against the world. He looked positively gorgeous there in the morning sunlight; his light hair falling around his pretty face. He was smiling softly, holding her to his chest.

"Really?" 

"Of course. I know you don't want to do that 'wife thing' and stay home cooking and cleaning. I would never be like either of our fathers and try to make you obey me. I told my uncle that I would do what I needed to for your happiness. When you decide you're ready for children, I'll even grant you that."

She blushed faintly, ignoring his last comment about children. "So things will stay the same then? We're still best friends and we'll still travel around like before?"

"You got it." Some things never change.

A smile spread across her face and she rested her head against him. "Are you happy, Kamatari?"

"Of course I'm happy. I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I get to be with some one who doesn't judge me or question me; some one who loves me despite my differences."

"Then why were you afraid?"

"I was afraid because I love you so much. I was afraid I would hurt you."

"I would have loved you any way." She slid from his arms, catching his hand in hers, "Now come on; let's not make Harusame wait any more. I've got a present for you."

"I've got one for you too."

She pulled him out the door behind her, leading him down to the room where their friends had set up a make-shift Christmas tree. Harusame was practically dancing with excitement, looking at the presents sitting neatly beneath the tree. Sojiro was smiling at his young *~friend's~* joy and Sonomi was laughing at the two of them. 

"Come on! Come on; I want to open things! This is the best part about Christmas!" The young woman exclaimed excitedly.

"Calm down." Sonomi said mildly, "It's not like this stuff will disappear if you don't open it right away."

"But I've been waiting!"

"All right, all right." Sonomi handed her friend a package, "This is for you."

"ALL RIGHT!" She shrieked, tearing the paper from the package. "Ooo…What is it?"

Sojiro, Kamatari and Gessho were opening similar packages, all to find a box of strange brown something-or-other in the shape of little kitsune, tanuki and neko. "I made everybody candy." Sonomi explained, "It's a Western treat called 'chocolate' and it's quite good."

There was a chorus of "thank you-s" then more presents were exchanged.

Nisshoku peered into the room. The five were squealing excitedly, ripping paper from packages, exclaiming over things and passing them around to each other to look at them. Two weeks ago, she had scoffed at the idea of a Western holiday. Christmas indeed. Nothing good could come from the West. But then…

There was her sister, breathlessly staring into a little box. She crossed the room and looked over her twin's shoulder, taking in the gift. It was a little box and when Gessho lifted it gently from the tissue paper, she realized it was a music box. Excitedly, the new bride began to wind the spring, allowing the music to come tinkling out. A grin spread across her face and she set it back into the box, then jumped to her feet and tackled Kamatari in a hug.

"Oh, I love it! Thank you!" She exclaimed, kissing him softly on the cheek.

Nissho smiled to herself, turning her gaze to Harusame and Sojiro. The latter of the two was holding out a wrapped gift, smiling shyly, his face slightly pink. The young woman accepted the present, peeling back the paper slowly. She took the lid off the box, peered inside, and her hand flew up to her mouth.

"Oh Sojiro…" She whispered. He had given her a necklace with a charm shaped like a little bird. Its wings were spread as if it were poised to fly, and it sparkled blue in the winter sunlight.

"It reminded me of you…" He said bashfully, "So free and beautiful."

She tossed her arms around him, causing him to redden considerably and the goofy grin to cross his face.

Nisshoku's smile widened, becoming a little less secretive. Perhaps Christmas wasn't such a bad thing. They were all so content. They were open with one another and comfortable in each other's presence. Her sister…Gessho had never looked happier in her life. Nissho felt a pang of jealousy. Where was her happiness? Why was she left to suffer alone? Where was her joy?

"Nisshoku…" Gessho suddenly realized her sister was there. She slid out of Kamatari's arms and scampered over to the tree. Picking up a rather large gift, she handed it to her sister. "This is for you. We know you don't believe in Christmas and all, but we couldn't resist…"

A faint smile crossed Nissho's face. "Thank you." She said quietly, "I do believe I was wrong. I am beginning to see the magic in this holiday and maybe I could enjoy this."

Her sister smiled cheerfully, "That's the spirit! Now open it! I want to know what you think."

A real smile crossed Nissho's face and she sank to the floor to open her gift, the others watching her, gleefully anticipating her reaction. There was a warmth in the room, a pleasant atmosphere, and all was well.

This was what Christmas was supposed to be.

* * * * *

It was late in the evening. 

Harusame was asleep on the floor, her head on Sojiro's lap. Around her neck was the beautiful sapphire pendant he had bought for her. She was clutching one of his hands in hers; smiling in her sleep. Any one could tell the young woman was extremely pleased to learn that Sojiro loved her.

The young rurôni was smiling triumphantly, happy that Harusame hadn't rejected him. He stroked her hair softly, not wishing to wake her, his other hand bracing him on the floor. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have a girl like her like him. She was pretty and young and so enthusiastic about everything. And she didn't care that he had been a cold-blooded killer. Lucky, lucky him.

Sonomi was eating some of the kolachi she had baked back at Harusame's house, causing a dusting of powdered sugar to litter the floor, falling among the wrappings from the opened Christmas presents. She was admiring her new cooking utensils, dreaming of the wonderful concoctions she could make when they went home.

In a corner of the room was Nisshoku, reading a large, leather-bound volume of fairy tales that had come from a Western vendor in Kyoto. Every one knew how much the elder twin liked to read and they had agreed that she had been rather helpful with this whole situation, so they bought her the wonderful book as a gift from them all. She had been absorbed in it since she opened it.

Gesshoku was peering out a window painted with frost. The sky was a dark blue, clear and spattered with stars. She smiled to herself. A day ago, she would have been wishing and praying on every one of those stars, begging the gods themselves to intervene and save her from that marriage.

Today, she thanked the stars for her luck.

"Here." Kamatari had appeared behind her, handing her a cup of tea. He was back to his old ways already, wearing a silky yukata under his brilliant red haori. A smile lit his face as she accepted the cup, then he sank to the floor, patting the cushion beside him.

She settled herself at his side, drinking deeply from the cup; the warm liquid burning its way down her throat. Then she looked over at him, smiling shyly over the top of her cup. "Did you have a nice Christmas, Kamatari?" 

"I had a very nice Christmas. I don't think things could have had a better turnout than this." He smiled brightly, sipping his own tea. 

"And you like your gift?"

"I love it." He said of the sky blue kimono she had given him, "It was very thoughtful of you."

"I'm glad you like it. I thought you would. I bought it special for you. I wanted you to feel pretty because you are pretty." She informed him, "I wanted it to be a present just for you."

"Arigato, Darling. Anything from you would be special."

She blushed, looking away from him, her gaze traveling back to the window. A new snow was falling again, drifting lightly to the ground. She loved weather like that; loved when it was cold and snowy so that nothing could be done but sit inside and stay warm. She set her cup down on the floor and looked back over at him. She was happy with the way the holidays had turned out, glad everything was okay, and content to be with her new husband. 

He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. The music box he had given her had been wound again and a slow song flowed out of it, the lilting melody wrapping around them. The room was lit by pale candle light and smells of Christmas -cinnamon and other spices- hung heavy on the air. Everything was perfect. "I love you." 

"I know." He kissed her forehead. "Merry Christmas, Koishii." He whispered.

"Merry Christmas." She replied softly.

*~_La Fin_~*

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Okay, so this is over. So sad… ;_;

But I am thinking of a sequel, again, pending Chibi-Tenken's approval. The next holiday coming up -one I don't particularly care for (although it should be better this year since I have Jeff now…)- is VALENTINE'S DAY! So my plans revolve around Sojiro and Harusame's romance (4 years after HSYWYS? takes place), a vacation to the Aoiroten-onsan and Kietsu, the only kid in Kobe to have two moms (guess whose kid!). Sonomi's playing matchmaker and plotting mischief, sending her *~friends~* on a romantic(?) trip to Kobe. Sound like fun? As long as Chibi-Tenken doesn't mind my pilfering of her characters, the first chapter should be out soon! XD

Thanks for reading, Meri Kurisumasu, and Shiawase na Genjitsu!


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